Please Help..

Our family has also known the sadness of having to release an adopted child for adoption to another home. It's not easy and it's certainly one for people to judge; but I assure you, there are several here on this site who've had to do the same thing. Making the decision over who will be allowed to stay and hurt others vs who will have to leave in order for other children to be safe is not one to be taken lightly, and I"m sure you didn't go into the decision easily either. I"m unclear though, have you already found another home for this child, or still looking? Are you sad because the child is now gone; or sad because you're having to make the decision and still having to deal with the danger he presents to your other children and family? Please feel free to pm me through this site. Our family has BTDT and has lived to tell the tale. Most Sincerely, Linny

I can feel for you. We went through it earlier this year. Linny is awesome and helped me through it as well! I do have some horrible times of sadness, almost like a huge wave engulfing me. Mine was my daughter who I had dreamed of my whole life. The damage having her did to my two boys is still evident and we are working through things. They both reacted in different ways to the stress. I have not been diagnosed, but I would say that I have PTSD as well. Before she left, I was having scary memory issues! I'm still struggling with that but it is slowly getting better. I also have times of almost bubbling over joy! When I get down, I try to remember the peace we have as a family now and that being content with what I have is so much better than what I had. I'm a Christian and the Lord has shown me so much love and mercy. Sometimes I'm overcome by it! I think when it is all said and done, I will be a much stronger person. Much more compassionate, that is for sure!!! Best wishes, Tracy

We had a disrupted international adoption too, 6 years ago. We lost a lot of friends because they didn't understand, & I was in counseling for about 3 years. Sometimes I look back & it's like another life. Other times I can't believe it's been that long. I can relate to a lot of what Hope2BMom69 is saying, & Linny helped me a lot too. Our story has a happy ending, a little over 2 years after our disruption we brought home a newborn baby girl from domestic adoption, also with help from Linny. Hang in there, I know it's really hard but it does get better.

Hi, Our family has come to the painful realization that we need to find a new home for one of our daughters. We don't live in WI and our adoption agency is not able to help. The social worker only was able to provide us with the name of an out of State agency that finds new homes for children. However, nobody has come forward wanting to provide a home for our daughter. Do you have any suggestions? We need help!!! Thank you!

Information: I have sent a pm to you. I hope it helps. Sincerely, Linny

Dear Adoptive Parents, You are invited to take part in a research study about the experiences of adoptive parents in the United States who have adopted a child from outside of the United States and who later experienced dissolution/disruption of the adoption. The study aims to investigate how adoptive parents experience dissolution/disruption of an international adoption and the effects of dissolution/disruption on adults and the family. The results will help to design better international adoption practices as well as counseling practices offered to adoptive parents who experienced dissolution/disruption of an adoption placement. The interview is expected to take approximately one to 1.5 hours. Eligibility: Women and men who have adopted a child from outside of the United States during the last 26 years (after 1989), who have later experienced dissolution/disruption of the adoption, and who are over the age of 18 years of age. Benefit to You: Your will have an opportunity to speak about your experience. This will help us to better understand how adults experience dissolution/disruption of an adoptive placement, to identify gaps in existing adoption practices, and help us to develop better approaches to helping women and men transition through the adoption dissolution/disruption process. To participate in the study, please contact the primary investigator to schedule an interview: Olga Hayes (Verbovaya), MSW, ABDSchool of Social WorkUniversity of Texas at Arlingtonemail: olga.verbovaya@mavs.uta.eduphone: 405-326-2144 Information gained in this interview will be completely confidential. That is, no individuals will be identified in the results or reports that come from the study. If you questions about participating in this study, please contact the researcher directly via email or phone: Olga Hayes (Verbovaya), MSW, ABD, mail: olga.verbovaya@mavs.uta.edu, phone: 405-326-2144. Please note that this study has been approved by the University of Texas at Arlington Institutional Review Board (IRB# 2016-0499). Your time and efforts to better understand how adoptive parents experience adoption disruption/dissoluton are sincerely appreciated and will help to establish better adoption practices and make a difference in the experiences of other adoptive parents. Regards,Olga Hayes (Verbovaya)School of Social Work The University of Texas at Arlington Note: If you do not qualify for this study but know someone who might, please feel free to forward this message to them; however, we also ask that you keep the content of the message intact so that adoptive parents have all of the necessary information regarding the study. Thank you!