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Hi! I'm new to this forum and just discovered it today, so I hope I'm posting in the right place and can get some good advice here. My fiance and I have trying to conceive for almost a couple years now and we just recently discovered that I am infertile and our only options other than adopting to get an egg donor, which I don't want to do. I'd rather adopt, and we're just starting the process of looking into what our options for adopting are. We don't make a whole lot of money (I'm a teacher, haha), so we can't really afford a private adoption where you have to cover the costs of the birthmother and everything, so I'm thinking a better option for us might be foster-to-adopt. I really want a newborn baby and know it might be a long process before that is possible, but I'm willing to go the distance. Do any of you have experience with fostering-to-adopt a newborn? How many other children did you foster before find your forever child? How likely is it once you foster a newborn that you will able to adopt it? Because I know it will be devastating to fall in love with a newborn baby and then have to give it up. Did you still get to choose it's name even though the adoption process takes so long? What are your suggestions for how to go about this process?
We were fost/adopt parents for a while. We fostered several newborns, and we weren't allowed to adopt any of them. We were foster parents for many years, had over a hundred children come through our house, and didn't adopt until we did private adoption. We were told that all of the newborns would be available for adoption, and by the time the process was over...all of them went to live with their biological families.
The goal of foster care is to reunite children with their biological parents. Adoption of newborns is rare, but not un-heard of. And just because you take a child home with you doesn't mean you will be able to adopt that child.
Keep in mind that the social workers will tell you pretty much anything to get you into the system, as they are desperate for foster homes.
If you are looking to keep your heart from getting broken, don't become a foster parent.
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