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Good Morning, my best friends are currently in the process of adopting a newborn. They have been selected by a birth mother and she is due any day. They recently met her and it went great. Afterwards, their adoption advocate advised them of the birth mother's hospital plan, which includes spending every moment possible with the baby for the two days she is in the hospital. That, including comments she made about 'always wanting a boy,' (she has 2 girls that she does not raise), they feel she will back out of the adoption and it is heartache they cannot bear. The adoptive mother is considering backing out all together. I, on the other hand, as just the supportive BFF, am very confident this will all work out, but I am also not as emotionally vested as she is. The birth mother has no support, a boyfriend that is not the father of this child, and they live with a 'friend of a friend' that will not allow them access to their home while they are not there. I find it highly unlikely that she will try to keep the baby or take him back during the time period she can (10 days). What do I say to encourage and support my friends? Obviously anything I say is just hopeful banter. Has anyone had any experiences like this that can comment?:thanks:
I was in a situation where it was pretty evident that a friends adoption placement wasn't going to be successful. I remember how hard it was to toe the line between being supportive and not providing false hope but remaining optimistic as ANYTHING can happen. They were devastated when birth mom decided to parent. I too was devasted when our first match failed and the birth mom situation was even more stacked against her than what you describe in your post. You just never know and clearly it is a life altering decision that shouldn't be taken lightly.
You are doing what you should. Lending your ear and being supportive. It is all you can do. Sometimes it doesn't feel like enough but it is pointless to try and control things you can't. Keep her busy and remind her that no matter what, you will always be there. She sounds lucky to have a friend like you!
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Thanks so much, I hope she hangs in there too! And quite frankly, just hoping the birth mother goes into labor before any one can think about it anymore.