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I am a female adoptee with abandonment and relationship issues..Most of my adoptive family and those around me are Christians..I want very much to believe as they do that their is a loving God above, but I can't seem to..It is easy to say I do and sometimes I think I do, but most of the time I am anguished about it..Does anyone else seem to have a problem finding their way around religion?? Do I question his presence because I feel abandoned?? Or do I question his presence thinking if he was real, then we would not let us suffer the way we do with life and relationships??
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There is no real answer to the question because no one has seen God, or any of that stuff. I am going to reccommend you read Romans 5:3-5. It talks sort of about trials and problems. Life is not easy no matter your faith, but it helps a lot to have God in your life. We suffer because it makes us a stronger person and we learn from our struggles. Don't forget we have free will to make bad decisions that can also cause struggles.Looking past those struggles though, he has brought you a loving adoptive family and another chance at life. It gets hard sometimes, but God is always there if you ask him to be and you need him to be.
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That is something I think many people find difficult to determine mainly because of the many influences in our lives. Do we believe what our family believes? What our friends believe? What if our own idea doesn't completely conform with others the same? I've dealt with (and still am in the process of) deciding what do I actually believe. Going through the same abandonment/relationship issues (as many others I'm sure are) I have also been raised in a Christian family, went to church any time the doors were unlocked, etc. Once college hit things changed, but now as I grow older and have surrounded myself with various types of people, it has helped me begin to really think what I personally believe.Some questions you have may take a little while to answer, others may take a lifetime. But personally, as much as I never wanted to disappoint my adoptive parents and be the Christian they raised me to be, I cannot say it would be wise to "live" as someone else believes is right. What has been helpful in my own experience is to not only surround yourself with others with similar beliefs, but also perhaps other people you would see as mentors. One of mine doesn't necessarily believe exactly what I do, but it has helped me decide more what I believe vs believing there is a God just because my parents say so. I think you are starting down a path which will help you grow more than you imagined and hopefully also help in resolving such issues that we as adoptees must face.