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That's one of those things, if we had the answers we would be millionaires. I myself was a foster child and watching the two I have now go through the 5 stages of grief...wow my fm sure was a strong lady! Sometimes you think you are healed and it comes back. The five stages of grief come in no particular order. Have they have acknowledged and identify the trauma for exactly what it was? I don’t know how old this child is, but did they come to you and seek guidance or support dealing with their feelings, thoughts and emotions? A big sign of depression that is overlooked is when children isolate themselves. My fd likes to put on this false image of being healed…she pretends to be what she thinks will make me happy. I know when she is slipping back because she locks herself in her room. How are their coping skills, how do they take stress? The only real way to accept it is to talk about it, accept it, and above all when they are ready to let go. If they hold onto the past it will manifest in a very negative outlook on life. It may lead to other problems: alcoholism, drug use, codependency…Oh and then there was me- constantly seeking reassurance and acceptance from others, always trying to be perfect. Those children who have abandonment issues sometimes become doormats and people pleasers when they grow up, and that is a hard cycle to break. Teaching them to replace bad habits with good ones and to replace every bad thought with two good ones helps build a good mental outlook. If they are doing well praise them non-stop and tell them exactly why you are happy. When and if you see the signs returning just reassure them it’s perfectly normal and they are not alone. I will probably need to go read this a few times as my youngest fs gets older. GOOD LUCK
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