Background check - how much asked about experience with friends?

I'm just wondering whether something like this should be brought up, if they'll ask, etc.. I actually had an experience with someone in high school, I'll call him "Ronald" though it isn't his real name - "Ronald" told me when we were in our early 20s he actually couldn't imagine loving someone enough to say "I love you" to them it was so bad. I helped by being there, know I could have done more, yet don't want this hard of a situation. Here's what happened. I was a Junior & very high achiever, came from very loving family, very outgoing. Our coach asked me to take this incoming sophomore under my wing not only on the team but also by including him in stuff with my friends. No problem," I thought, and while he did seem shier and all he would talk about was politics at first (it was a debate team) I figured he was shier but still seemed nice, and he did open up and start having fun with us after a while when we'd play miniature golf, have pizza parties & play games, go to high school games, etc.. And, it worked well because (and this may have been my first mistake) another friend in our group was an exchange student that year & it was easy for me to just figure he had a good home life likw the rest of us and would be a good replacement, and our mutual friend did integrate back into the group well the next year. "Ronald" had a problem, though. He would say thigns that seemed very mean as far as what he thought proper discipline was. In fact, he had what years later I realized was a flashback in the cafeteria one day. He was talking about spanking and I tried to agree with him and get him to tone down what he was saying by saying, "Well, if it only hurts for a minute or so." He proceeded to make fun of me for implying that a person should have self-control when disciplining, and then his voice became a lot different, he acted like he was in pain,a nd he said, "Ow, it hurts, Mommy, make it stop." Idiot that I was, I not only presumed he had been continuing to make fun of me, I didn't mention it or ask anyone if that might be a problem. Now, I know, you may think I'm being too hard on myself since I was just a high school student, and you might be right. But, I reserve the right to at least say I should have asked someone if that could be a problem. We all have things we look back and realize we could have done things better. The other reason I don't blame myself is because year later he did say what a help I'd been. But, this was years later. He only told me after 8-10 years of knowing him that he had "an aunt" who had adopted several kids (and he only told me about 2 older ones and not one his age) and that she'd, in his words," use any excuse to spank, even just picking up a cigarette butt, and she'd do it till the kids bled." It makes me wonder if he was still hiding something. I also think it's possible this was a real aunt and he was adopted by her brother/sister and their spouse. (Probably the most likely theory.) He did eventually marry and become a good husband and father; in fact, given that he married a woman 6-8 months after they met, I suspect that he married the first person he felt like saying "I love you" to because it was such an incredible experience. I think he worries more that we got carried away disciplining and that he enver has, because the change in him has been wonderful. (This was over 20 years ago) Okay, thanks for letting me vent about that. Now, my questions... 1. How much of this type of thing do they want to know in the interviews? Obviously they will ask about my own home life. But, how about whether I ever knew any kfriends whom I mentored/helped/encouraged? I'm especially curious because a few things I didn't share here about "Ronald" are confidential. This leads into my second question. 2. Would something like this make them think that because I have the experience helping a friend, they'd think I'd be better with an older child who has had far more problems? Yes, I'd have still taken on the challenge if our coach had told me more (though I'd have known why he said the things he did and handled things very differently - I'd have likely gone overboard trying to help "Ronald"). But, there is a big difference between being a friend to someone like that and actually parenting. Constantly hearing the things he said and never knowing if he was joking was quite draining for me since I do have a hard time picking that up at times. Although, even with others, he was good at fooling them; he was *very* good at saying things he didn't mean in a way that made you think he did, and could give a 7-minute speech on a subject he knew nothing about and make it sound like he was an expert on it. Obviously, any child in foster care will have challenges as I would move toward adoption. But, I would be much better with a younger child who was much more willing to admit that he or she had problems and work through them. thanks for letting me vent about this. I just have to remind myself what I told a mutual friend when I revealed about "Ronald" and his flashback and other problems. We did a great job given the fact we didn't know what we were doing, and it just shows that being there and being friendly helps a lot.