found my son but he has major addiction issues

I reunited with my son 23 years ago, right after his 18th birthday. The next few years were a nightmare due to his addiction to crystal methamphetamine. His behavior was beyond obnoxious -- although he could turn around and be the sweetest person in the world. He became violent with his adoptive parents...and I lived in fear for a while of opening my front door when he showed up unannounced. I kept sticking him into rehabs, and he kept signing himself out against medical advice as soon as they'd cut him off whatever drugs they were using to detox him. After five or six times of this, I finally "let go and let God," as they say in Twelve-Step programs. My advice to you at this point is to attend a few meetings of Al-Anon or Nar-Anon. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to...just sit and listen. There is a lot of literature available at those meetings that will help you deal with addicts and alcoholics. The one thing I'll warn you about now is watch out for your son trying to get you to enable him in his addiction. That's what addicts do -- and if you refuse to play their game, they often become enraged. Do NOT let him guilt trip you into giving him what he wants. My son tried to hang the constant threat over my head that I would never see him again if I didn't go along with him. It's hard not to give in when you've spent years and years praying for the day that you'll be reunited with the child you placed for adoption. But for your son's sake...as well as your own sanity...stick to your guns.

thank u for ur answer, i 2 days ago talked to him since he is living here right now he has 2 weeks to get his act together of he can go somewhere else, he doesn't treat me like his mother, his dad doesn't help either he enables him on everything, i mean the first time they ever talked the it was about money and the second time he sent him money. he doesn't back me up on nothing i say about him

Lurline, you are absolutely right. Stand your ground. You and your husband must provide a united front or there will be no end of the demands he will make. The drugs he takes are voluntary, no one holds a gun on him and forces him to get hi.Addicts care only about their addiction. Nothing else matters. Even if he were to go to treatment, that is voluntary. He can leave treatment at any time.There is no soul saving in terms of being able to help someone out of addiction. They have to want to become clean, and make a commitment to do it. Many professionals agree that the cure of addiction comes only when the individual has finished their addiction business and wants treatment. Without being finished with their addiction, they will not go to treatment or they may have several relapses in the process. The best motto is, "one day at a time."If there are relapses, at least he will know that treatment is available if he can commit.I wish you the best.