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Hello angel dears :coffee:
I was born and given up for adoption in Wisconsin. I reunited with my birth mother many years ago, it was a roller coaster ride to say the least. Because of her resentment towards my birth father for not doing right by her and getting married,, I felt conflicted about contacting him. I have his name and contact information but am afraid to contact him myself. Maybe what I need is an advocate or intermediary to contact him. What do you think? Lutheran social services contacted my birth mother, but it took 2 years for me to get to the top of the pile. He is 72 and I don't know if we have that kind of time :fish:
Blessing to you and the work that you do. :thanks:
Sincerely,
Nancy
Ndrew607@hotmail.com
My experience this last year has been learning that the father that my bio mom had told me had "run off" never knew she was pregnant at all. It was quite the shock and surprise for him to find out he's a father and grandfather. It can be scary, but don't close that door yet, is my opinion.
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I just saw your post, and I realize that it is from two months ago, but I figured it is not so long ago that I cannot add my two cents.
I wouldn't write off your b-dad. Here's why:
1) However he was back then, it was a long time ago. He may be a completely different man now. It's probably not fair to judge someone for choices s/he made when young;
2) Your b-mom's feelings should not affect your feelings for your b-dad;
3) And, as mamapiglet stated, you have only heard one side of the story.
In my reunions, I preferred to contact my family on my own. I didn't want an intermediary. As your b-dad is over 70, you may want to contact him directly rather than wait for an intermediary.
You have to do whatever you believe is right for yourself. But, I would hate if you waited until it was too late, and you no longer had the option to contact him. I always believe it's better to know. Even if the outcome is painful, I still want to know the truth.