Relative placement help

Thank you. I've been worried about my house being spotless every second just incase! I just feel stressed over the waiting part and was hoping to get anymore information to ease my mind. I appreciate everyone's help!!

I really don't know the exact answers to any of your questions but this is what I've learned over the years.... They try to minimize the number of moves a child has during the time he/she is in foster care. If a child comes into care and a relative is available immediately (within a few days of the child coming into care), they will often move the child immediately to that relative's home and have the relative get licensed as a foster/adopt parent while the child is living in the home. If a child has been somewhere for a longer amount of time (many months), they like to have the relative get licensed as a foster/adopt home and then they move the child. That way, if the relative cannot get licensed (for any reason), the child was not removed from a place he/she was doing well in and then have to be moved again if the relative does not get licensed. So they will ask you to begin the licensing process which is pretty much the same as for non-relative foster/adopt parents (home study, home inspection, PRIDE classes, medical, references etc.). While it is pretty much the same process, I think they are more likely to grant waivers for relatives (not needing as much space etc.). You appear to be on the "early" side of the placement - it's only been a couple of months - so I think the chances are higher they would move the child quickly and have you finish the licensing process after she moves in with you. But there are other factors that may need to be considered. I believe they can move the child at any time - it's entirely in their discretion this early in the case. They may decide to wait until you are licensed (it might take 3-6 months) but it's really up to them....if there is a natural break in school, they could move her in the summer. I think they really just wait until they are confident you will have no difficulty getting licensed and are really committed to the process. The other factors to be considered is where her case is (as far as her bio parents go). If reunification with her mother or father is likely to happen in the very near future, they might not move her at all. If reunification is not imminent, they are more likely to move her quickly (in my opinion). Again, I'm no expert but I think your "longest" scenario is after licensing and your "shortest" scenario is after the background checks come back clean and you submit the application for licensing. Good luck!

Thank you so much! Your post was very helpful and informative and I sincerely appreciate it!! I do know (thanks to CW) that there was a court date with bioMom in early April where my fiance was brought up as a possible person to care for the child, but no one contacted us. We were not informed of the baby being taken until last week, despite having been a huge part of her life up until 6months ago when my fiance and his sister (bioMom) argued over her non-motherly behavior where she chose to no longer visit us. The baby (2 years old) was very attatched to both of us (and us to her) and would often sleep at our house for a week straight, and we would usually have her more days in a month than his sister would, up until the argument. Of course, we were heartbroken when his sister decided to stop contact. We tried constant calls and even random visits to her home, but she refused to see or talk to us. We do not even know what exactly happened to place the child in the care of the state in the first place. I'm aware we are very much on the early side of the placement process and that is why I'm trying to learn as much as I can so we are prepared for things as they come. Other than waiting for background check results, we do not know what else to do.

I would imagine you'll get your niece as long as your home is ok - it's just a matter of how much time it takes to move her. What I would do in the meantime is ask the Division for visits with your niece...ask for that immediately and follow up conversation in writing (email or letter). Call the court and try and find out next court date (should be under last name of mother or father - date and time and judge is public record, anyone can find out when hearing is and then GO!).....send a letter to court and Division (any address you can find, attn: DCPP) and state very clearly you want her and tell of your history with her. Call Monmouth FAFS and see if you can find out when the next PRIDE class begins...you might need to call a few times to get the right person. That will get you started....good luck! ETA: All of the above is assuming she's with non-relative foster parents. If she's with relatives already (grandparents, other aunts/uncles etc.), there may be no reason to move her unless you can establish she has a bond with you she doesn't have with the other relatives?

welcome to the roller coaster that is relative care :cheer: i'm not from your area, so I'm ignorant to county locations... since the child is not TPR'd (parental rights forever revoked), I assume there is a reunification plan in place that includes visitation CWs may hold off on a move if you are too far, or unwilling to transport the child to visitation

Foster2Forever: We already are waiting to see about getting visitation (apparently the CW has to ask someone who has to ask someone, etc.) Fiance plans to ask about court dates today (waiting on call from CW as we speak). She is not with relatives right now, but her grandmother is also trying to get her to live with them, but they have serious health issues, plus they live in a 55+ community where children under 15 years age are not permitted. WCurry66: We are more than willing to transport her for visits if that's what the courts want. It's roughly 45-60 minutes between where they are and where we are, so it is managable for sure.

Sounds like everything is moving along....you might just have to wait for everyone else to get their ducks in a row. If I were you, I'd keep a "log" of what you did (date, time, who you spoke with, what he/she said) so you have some type of record of what is going on. Chances are you'll never need it but it's good to have.

I really appreciate your help, you have no idea! Fiance called CW at 2 today who told us she'd have the results and call us after 3 but we never heard back from her. We will be calling her tomorrow again to see if the bg check results are in. So if our bg check goes well, the next step would be them coming to check our home?

Yes, and I know with some of my placements where relatives were being considered, they also did a police check on top of the division background check. But it all differs with each case. Also, just as an fyi: anyone at anytime can go to the county court house and file for actual custody of a child. Now it doesn't sound like you will have to do that in this case b'c they seem to be on track to place her with you, but that is always an option. If the family member opposes, then it would go to a judge...

I was heading out the door, but this was bugging me, so i came back to edit my reply and add what i wish someone had told me 4 years ago :) When you first speak up, you are often guilty by association. Just look around the foster part of the a.com forum (paraphrased: "i can't let X go back to THAT family".. everyone in that family is alike.. you KNOW they are trying to get him back to give birthmom access.. etc, etc) When you first ask for visitation, they don't know if you are another - whatever.. alcoholic, domestic violence criminal. child abuser. There are many, many literate addicts out there. CWs who have been in the system for a while tend not to trust easily They are going to move slow until you prove you are different. This can happen with a home visit. You can also win them over by signing to to get licensed to foster. the process is pretty much the same as what you're going through (plus a handful of classes, which don't hurt) but it shows you're serious Let them know you are willing to travel for visits Check in regularly to find out status. Since you are an hour away, you may have 2 offices involved. find your local dcyf and check in with them (this is another way foster licensing helps) I would caution against filing for custody.. especially at this point. CW are people... they know the system (and the judges ) .. they can help or derail your efforts. You do not want to make an enemy at this point - when it seems like they are working towards helping you. Just remember - you are on their turf right now. They hold all the cards

Thanks. I don't know if they're doing a police check too. I don't really care what they have to do, I just want it done! I just want her to come home to us...

We heard back from CW today. Our background checks passed, no problem. BUT they said they are waiting to hear from the grandmother's Dr to be sure she is "healthy enough" to care for the child. Based on what I know of her/have seen, she has some serious medical issues... What are the requirements for that? What would make her unable to care for the child? That's our only way at this point of getting her for sure, is her health. Also, she lives in a 55+ community so I thought that would be a no-go too, but they didn't even know that until my fiance mentioned it to them today. So CW said she'll look into that too. She's been great, the CW, but the grandmother is just not the best fit for this child based on so many things. I am hoping and praying something falls through and this child is able to come home with us where I honest believe would be the best fit for her...

The whole story is on blogger, if you want to read it.. [url]http://roughrideahead.blogspot.com/[/url]

The only advice I have is to be persistent. The only time things get moving is when a CW feels the pressure. I know of a case now where relatives have been fighting since the first day their cousin was placed in fostercare. Well 9 mths later and they still don't have her. But it does seem like things for you are headed in the right direction. Good Luck!

Thanks. We have been calling the CW pretty regularly, and she has been great with us. However, unless the Dr or adult community where they live doesn't check out, it looks like the child will be going with her grandmother :( Which may sound good, but I know that is NOT the best place for her at all..