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If you have never read the book Three Little Words by Ashley Rhodes Courter, you need to. It is a fantastic memoir about one girl's journey through the foster care system. There is so much to learn from her. However, I have a feeling that if I was a foster parent, CASA, GAL, or CW in Florida, I would have had a much harder time reading the book. That said, I wanted to share a few of the best quotes: Speaking of her mother: "If she said she would return soon, she would. I ignored her broken promises and pretended to be unaware of elapsed time when it came to her." Leaving another foster placement: "As we pulled out of the driveway, I heard a shattering sound inside my head as if a glass had broken between my ears...I was escaping...and yet, I felt as worthless as the junk in my trash bag. Once again, I was the one being tossed and thrown away." TPR: "Until the judge signed the documents, everything else had been temporary. Once the judge ruled, I was an orphan. I had no parents, and no possibilities were in sight." Even after adoption: "As I held their newborn granddaughter, I though, 'They would NEVER consider getting rid of her, but I could be sent back at any time.'" Wisdom from an adoptive mother: "When a man's beloved wife dies, he mourns her forever - even if he marries again for companionship. Your mother is a hard act to follow. She will always be the love of your life."
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I love the last one has some great relevance with one of my older kiddos. My son asked me yesterday while at the pool, "why did daddy and I chose him?" He's 5, it was sooo sweet and this was one of the first times I really got to relay his journey to us, to him. I pulled him in my lap and quietly told him about his story (he's heard it before). But being an age where he's understanding more I could add age approiprate details. It was so wonderful! Connecting with my kids about their stories and even past hurts has become an important aspect to our relationship and bond.
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I love the quote by the adoptive mother.Kind of off topic but I ran into a quote yesterday I wanted to share.Speaking of growing up family (not raised by his parents) where he was the only child in a household of 4 adults:I asked my older sibling at what age did I walk. She said, Tommy, nobody knows at what age you could walk. Somebody was always carrying you. I think back to that and how different that is from the kids who are raised today. They have more material things. More material things will not do it. If we had had twice the money and I’d gotten half the attention, I would have been worse off. The attention and concern is what counts infinitely more. It is one of the reasons government programs don’t work. They can’t create good parents.~Thomas Sowell
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TemporaryMom
That was a great book. Honestly, it and Kathy Harrison's two books I believe should not only be required reading for preservice training, but should be basis for all training.
HopingForForever
Totally! I wasn't as much of a fan as the first one. Something rubbed me the wrong way, but I totally didn't feel that at all in the second one. However, I read the first one before I started fostering and the second one after, so maybe that was part of it.
I wonder if I read the first one again now if I'd feel the same way. I totally agree. You can't really understand her decisions and emotions until you've been exposed to it yourself. Kinda like reading a book about another country before you've been there and then reading another after you have been there. I'm sure you see it in a whole new light and things that didn't make sense before now do.
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So I ended up purchasing this for my Kindle last night....Read half of it and couldn't put it down!! Thanks for the great book suggestion. It is a very sad book, but at least it's putting some perspective into me. Lately, I've felt a little down. Like I'm not doing as great a job as I should be. When Bubba has a terrible day at school (becoming more and more frequent) I think to myself that I'm obviously not doing something right. This book makes me feel like at least we're doing something right though. We LOVE these kids. We will advocate for them, show them love, spoil them when appropriate and could NEVER turn our backs on them.