told my family about reunion - it didn't go well

June 20, 2013

Momus

I believe you weren't as clear as you think.

You wrote: "Why shouldn't the one who wasn't nice be the one expected to be the one offering apologies.".

You missed the first part of my comment: "Why should the sibling who was attacked be the one to make nice?"

Which was in response to your comment: "My advice, as hard as it is, is to put yourself in her shoes and do your best to heal the rift."

Momus

I replied: "You mean, the one in full protective mode because she feels her sister has intentionally wounded her mother? Shrug. Seems like that might take a while. For the record, I never suggested that emerald should be offering anyone any apologies. Based on what she's written, she hasn't done anything wrong."

I'm not sure what you think I've missed. Please be more specific. :D

That's interesting, since I can't for the life of me find the words "loyal," "disloyal," "loyalty," or "disloyalty" anywhere in my posts!

What I did say is that I, personally, know that "searching" would be extremely hurtful to my mother. And I did say that perhaps emerald's sister felt the same way, and that her nasty tirade was a symptom of protectiveness towards her mother.

Thank you, though, for reading my posts, albeit somewhat carelessly.

I didn't say you used those words in this thread but the tone and your words here indicate that would be how you would view it: "The #1 reason I have never considered it is that I wouldn't want to cause my mom even an ounce of pain after all she's given me. If I had an adopted sibling who made the decision you have, I'd probably go to war, too. (I hope I wouldn't be hateful about it, and you definitely don't deserve that, but I wouldn't be nice, either.)"

Kind regards,

Dickons