The story..

Hi Aly, I'll respond more later. However, when it comes to messages on Facebook, because you are not one of their "Facebook Friends", they may not ever see your message. This is because messages from "Non-Facebook Friends" go straight through to a message folder and can only be seen if someone actually searches for them. So your message could just be sitting unread in a message folder. I think this was done to prevent people getting spam messages but unfortunately, it also means genuine messages from Non-Facebook Friends are often never read. I just thought I'd let you know that so that if you don't hear anything, you may want to find another way to make contact.

Yes, unfortunately I had realized that after I sent the messages. I am afraid to be pushy and send say a friend request or something. I was in a private adoption and I really don't know how to search for other ways to contact them.

Certified letters is the route I'd go.

Well, since you've been on FB, you have their names. And, you probably know the city (cities) in which they live. So, an online address finder may help.Did your mother give you all the paperwork she has from your adoption? Sometimes our b-mom's birthdays are on the paperwork. The birthday, along with her name, would enable you to use an online people search. It doesn't cost much.As far as looking like your b-parents, in the beginning, I didn't see much of any resemblance between me and my b-parents either. I was looking for a striking resemblance, and I didn't find one. But, with time, I saw more similarities.... When I look at pics of my extended b-family, we're a hodgepodge of different looks. We're not a Baldwin-type family in which we're easily recognizable as family.

The only documents I have are basic information and allergies and plans for school and their future and heritage. I know where my bmom lives for sure as well as my bio brother. But I do know, after a basic google search that they have lived in various states since I was born.

Well, if you know where she lives, you can probably also find her phone number. So, you can decide whether you want to write or call.... But, even if you cannot find a phone number, you have the address, so you can write to her.Good luck.

Hi Alyheartsu~ I agree with L4R. I would find an address and write a letter. I found my bm a few months back and send a facebook message. didn't hear a thing. I send a letter and she called a week later. she said her granddaughter set her up on facebook and she doesn't really use it. You may hear back from Facebook and that would be great, but I thought I would share my experience. good luck!

Hi Ally , my name is Ian.o and I know what you must be going through is not easy and very hard to take in right now. I also found out about myself being adopted much later in life, and I felt that my adoptive parents did not know me, trust me, or love me enough to tell me the truth about my adoption. I was born here in los angeles and was taken to England when I was 8 years old. I was one of 3 kids , but I was the only one who was adopted. The fact of myself being adopted was always kept from me. Although I always half suspected that I somehow did not fit it with the rest of the family in my personality and out look on life. It was not until I was almost 30 years old that I decided to leave home for a life of my own as my adoptive mother was very much a control freak. She would even open and read my personal mail !!!!!, they thought that I should remain at home my whole life to look after them until they were dead. So the day that I decided to leave home I had made all my arrangements, and as I was walking out of the front door with the last of my belongings. My mother turned round to me and said " If you are leaving you might as well know that you were " ADOPTED ". And that is how I found out. I later discovered that my bio mother had passed away just three years before me finding my bio brother in la harbra in 2006. I look at it this way , my Bio mother must of had a very hard choice to make when having to give me up. We all have to make hard choices in life , and we have to live with the results of those choices. I don't blame her or resent her in anyway as I really don't know why she had to make that decission . I would of really liked to of had the chance to meet her, and know her, but now I just pray that she is resting in peace knowing that I have found my bio father here in cali. I hope that you will find this helpful and I encourage you to look to the future and not dwell on the past. What doe's not kill you only makes you stronger.

Im sure it is very hard if not overwhelming to be involved in late discovery regarding an adoption status.The only good thing maybe that by not knowing and believing in the full family status a-parents bestowed on the adoptee, that there was a certain element of freedom.Your origin was established and settled. There were no feelings of being an "outsider," and for whatever time was involved, you were an equal. There was no dark side lurking in the background.For those of us who came into a family through a closed adoption, it was different.Often there were secrets. Children coming into some families were for the benefit of the a-parents, not always the child.I knew from a very early age that I was "different." Like many children in a closed adoption we didn't know what the secret was, but we knew there was one lurking in the background.The late discovery adoptees, unknown to them, were able to buy time. For the time that they did not know, there was no grief and loss. In the eyes of their friends and other social avenues they were an equal, and no one questioned their heritage.So no matter what time period late discovery people know about their adoption, the good thing is that for that time period when they did not know, they were free to be themselves.I wish you the best.

Im sure it is very hard if not overwhelming to be involved in late discovery regarding an adoption status.The only good thing maybe that by not knowing and believing in the full family status a-parents bestowed on the adoptee, that there was a certain element of freedom.You origin was established and settled. There were no feelings of being an "outsider," and for whatever time was involved, you were an equal. There was no dark side lurking in the background.For those of us who came into a family through a closed adoption, it was different.Often there were secrets. Children coming into some families were for the benefit of the a-parents, not always the child.I knew from a very early age that I was "different." Like many children in a closed adoption we didn't know what the secret was, but we knew there was one lurking in the background.The late discovery adoptees unknown to them, were able to buy time. For the time that they did not know, there was no grief and loss. In the eyes of their friends and other social avenues they were an equal, and no questioned their heritage.So no matter what time period late discovery people know about their adoption, the good thing is that for that time period they were free to be themselves.I wish you the best.