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Please, does anyone have any long-term success stories?
I recently started seriously considering adoption from the foster care system as a single parent. I have been haunting the forums for a couple of weeks now and I've gotten some excellent information!
I've also gotten really scared.
I know people are most likely to post to the forum when they're struggling, unhappy, or in need of advice. But I've seen so many negative posts: young kids who never bond, angry older kids who return to their biological parents as soon as they turn 18, foster/adoptive parents who are so frustrated with the state/biological parents/their children that they regret adoption, biological parents who are furious at adoptive parents....
Does anyone have any good stories of a foster/adopt situation that has had time to settle? For example, an adoption that happened 15 or 20 or 25 years ago. How did things work out? How is everyone doing? Was it good? Was it worth it?
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we adopted our daughter from foster care when she was 3 weeks shy of her 10th birthday. 8 and a half years later, she is doing great, we are all well bonded and we love her to pieces. She had significant behavior challenges for the first 6-12 months, other than that the only problem has been getting the school system to provide appropriate services for her learning disability.In terms of bio family, she has contact with some of her siblings. We know how to find her mom and other extended family and have offered but for now she chooses not to.
bjolly
we adopted our daughter from foster care when she was 3 weeks shy of her 10th birthday. 8 and a half years later, she is doing great, we are all well bonded and we love her to pieces.
She had significant behavior challenges for the first 6-12 months, other than that the only problem has been getting the school system to provide appropriate services for her learning disability.
In terms of bio family, she has contact with some of her siblings. We know how to find her mom and other extended family and have offered but for now she chooses not to.
I have three adopted kiddos as a single parent.
In the process of adopting one maybe two more.. Also right now have 2 foster placements.
My adopted daughter has been with me for 4 years. So not 15 years but still long enough for her to settle in.
There are times when she is DIFFICULT..and I mean DIFFICULT. Manipulative..lying..stealing..arguing..UNPLUGGING security cameras.. suspensions from school. It took a good 1 1/2 years for her to settle in. I was young when she got placed- 23..so a little naive. She was placed at 8...now is 12.
I have two boys that have been here 2 years... but are younger....2 1/2 and 4 1/2.... you would have never guessed they were adopted. They are "normal" well adjusted kiddos.
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I don't have a lot of time because my daughter wants me to tuck her in, but yes, there are really positive stories.
My daughters have been home 7 years. They were 2, 5, and 10 when they came to us. It has been a long journey, and we have worked very hard to heal the girls. However, they are happy and well adjusted. I often get compliments on what a wonderful young lady my oldest daughter is, and no one would ever guess the challenges she faced in her first 10 years of life. I am fairly sure my youngest will one day want to meet her bio family, but I have no fears she will abandoned us in favor of them.
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I realize this post is a little old, but the OP asks important questions that I wonder about too. * How many of you have adopted from foster and the kids are now older than 18? * Are they still in your life and are you close and happy and see/talk to each other regularly [still love each other even if they've moved out]?* Have they left to go back to their biofam?* Or have they left just be away from everyone, and you rarely connect? I'd really love to hear more about this. Thanks so much!
I realize this post is a little old, but the OP asks important questions that I wonder about too.
* How many of you have adopted from foster and the kids are now older than 18?
* Are they still in your life and are you close and happy and see/talk to each other regularly [still love each other even if they've moved out]?
* Have they left to go back to their biofam?
* Or have they left just be away from everyone, and you rarely connect?
I'd really love to hear more about this. Thanks so much!