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I'm hoping my little rant below may start a discussion.... I feel like such an ineffective, newbie parent.
DS's behavior at home, church and elsewhere is pretty good for a 4 yr old that started learning English language, American culture and family culture less than a year ago. He was in an orphanage, in EE, for almost 4 years.
At pre-K school he is copying bad behaviors of his "friends" and then running with it, really getting into trouble and generally not listening. Every day I pick him up there is a litany of things he did wrong.... he wiggled around during circle time, he pulled a friends hair (he really likes her), he splashed water, he pushed, he didn't want to stop an activity and cried....etc. etc.
His teacher gave him an evaluation test, filled with letter and number recognition, comparison words, descriptive words etc and he failed most portions pretty badly. He has over a year before starting Kindergarten in fall of 2014.
Teacher wants the school district to come in and do an evaluation of him. I don't want that as I feel he is still in transition and may get a permanent black mark for something that is temporary. ugh.
I'm not worried about his testing. He has full conversations in English that he couldn't speak a word of less than a year ago. He is very quick to learn and remember. I know he will catch up.
I'm worried about the behavior piece of it.
Suggestions? and thanks for reading my rant.
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I know this is a very old thread but I thought it was a good topic. My DD is 2 and I get the same things she bites hits pinches and pushes at daycare. None of this behavior at home. (well rarely) It think kids just feel more secure at home and dont act out as often. I know that is sooo true with my DD but man hearing these horrible things about your kids constantly is so trying!
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wrking21
I know this is a very old thread but I thought it was a good topic.
LOL - this isn't old, it's only four days. :woohoo:
I had a heart to heart with one of his main teachers the afternoon that I wrote the original post. She agrees that many of his behaviors are things that normal 4 yr old boys do and we were able to talk about solutions.
She did share that she is concerned that when the curriculum starts up in September he won't be able to sit still for long. So, we'll work on that at home.
I did have to share with her that, in his former life he probably was disciplined very differently. She looked at me horrified and said, "You don't think they hit him, do you?" and I had to tell her that they probably did. I don't think they beat the kids but spanking or similar is probably in their repertoire. They certainly man-handled the kids a lot more than what you would see in American preschools these days, I hope.
She did admit that he is very smart and retains things extremely well. I said that I was glad they had done the knowledge test because it provide a baseline for his learning but I don't want it used for anything else.
Thankfully, she agreed. I'm feeling better about the whole thing.
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Thats great! Yea I talked to my DD's teachers the other day too and apparently this is a per teacher issue. Her regular teacher reports none of these behaviors but her afternoon teacher did.
Glad to hear you have a plan for your little guy! :)
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SNAFU
As of Aug 20 all the teachers will change. The newer teacher, who called the other day asking what she should do, is becoming co-lead with a brand new teacher as the other co-lead. One teacher is leaving all together and the best one is going to junior kindergarten.
I can't catch a break!
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Can you suggest a few things to the teachers to help him settle down at circle time? One thing that helps sometimes is having something in their hands to manipulate. Silly putty or a smooth rock, a piece of light sandpaper etc. Some kids can't handle it but it works for some. What works for you at home?
I agree that he's still adjusting and learning so it will take some more time. It might be that preschool is too much for him right now and needs to wait until after Christmas or something like that. Try it and then go back to the drawing board if need be.
Ugh! on the teacher changes. I really hate those last minute deals!
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I feel that it is important for you to work with the school on these issues. If DS's teacher recommends a complete evaluation, this might not be a bad idea. It is best to rule out and address issues while he is at a very young age. The older he becomes, the more difficult these issues will be to correct. Regarding the behavioral issues, I do not know if you are already doing this but it might be a good idea for you to discipline DS at home for misbehaviors at school. Knowing that he will be reprimanded at home for misbehaviors and school will discourage the behavior from occurring. This behavior does not necessarily sound atypical as it might be his attempt to control his own environment.
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crick
Can you suggest a few things to the teachers to help him settle down at circle time? One thing that helps sometimes is having something in their hands to manipulate.
This is a wonderful idea - thank you!
We have decided to schedule an assessment for DS through the adoption clinic. This will provide us with the best answers as they will be focused on international adoptee issues more than a school district evaluation. His teachers will have input, although I might ask his old teacher to do one questionnaire and his new teacher do one. We will also have control over the results, due to HIPPA, and we don't have to put a permanent mark on his school record.
We are also expanding our behavior chart at home to include school activities. The teachers give his his gold stars to bring home and put on the chart. Hopefully, this will tie things together more that our previous efforts did. Previously, we read over his activity "train" from school to see how he did in each section.
We'll see.
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Little Man has had a wonderful couple of weeks at school. He figured out that he just has to work on one section at a time so he was able to relax and not get all revved up, for the most part. He has still had some incidents but nothing like he had before.
School starts on Tuesday, after the long weekend and this preschool bases it's timing on the school year. Little Man is losing friends who are going to Kindergarten and some going to a new Junior Kindergarten class at his school. He should be going to but they say he doesn't know his letters yet. I almost pointed out that he has learned his fourth language, fluently, in the last year so give him a break!
He will probably do better in Pre-k than J-K anyways, building his confidence up. I don't mind that he is staying there. I do mind that they are juggling teachers again. Ms A left the school on the 18th. Ms B is going to teach J-K. He's had A and B since starting there. Ms . C was the sub that took over full-time for Ms A but she is also going to teach J-K.
This results in Little Mans class being taught by Mrs. D and Ms E with another sub, Ms F. He knows Mrs. D from another class but not on a daily basis.
I just feel bad that with so much upheaval and so many changes, he will feel like he can't count on anyone again.
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ready4family
I'm hoping my little rant below may start a discussion.... I feel like such an ineffective, newbie parent.
DS's behavior at home, church and elsewhere is pretty good for a 4 yr old that started learning English language, American culture and family culture less than a year ago. He was in an orphanage, in EE, for almost 4 years.
At pre-K school he is copying bad behaviors of his "friends" and then running with it, really getting into trouble and generally not listening. Every day I pick him up there is a litany of things he did wrong.... he wiggled around during circle time, he pulled a friends hair (he really likes her), he splashed water, he pushed, he didn't want to stop an activity and cried....etc. etc.
His teacher gave him an evaluation test, filled with letter and number recognition, comparison words, descriptive words etc and he failed most portions pretty badly. He has over a year before starting Kindergarten in fall of 2014.
Teacher wants the school district to come in and do an evaluation of him. I don't want that as I feel he is still in transition and may get a permanent black mark for something that is temporary. ugh.
I'm not worried about his testing. He has full conversations in English that he couldn't speak a word of less than a year ago. He is very quick to learn and remember. I know he will catch up.
I'm worried about the behavior piece of it.
Suggestions? and thanks for reading my rant.
Hey,, sounds little different and difficult too :( :(
see to children like such behavior are really good in studies but as per my knowledge,, but don't worry give him some time he'll be all right after few week when he'll get to know that what I'm doing is wrong!! Don't worry!!
Last update on February 26, 1:03 pm by Melanie Hall.
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