Have you or would you

I would definitely attend the funeral of my child's adoptive parents IF he or she wanted my emotional support and presence. I would be scared out of my head (I'm a bit shy around strangers,) so I most likely would sit in the back of the room.

If he wanted me to I would.

I would, because I wouldn't forgive the people that raised me, if they didn't take me to my moms funeral.

Thanks for the replies.... I did not attend DD's afathers funeral. Sadly DD's father took his own life. I was able to talk with DD at great length several times over the last weeks. She has suffered and is suffering a major loss....yet, she is so strong.....my heart breaks for her. This was not supposed to happen :hissy:

Me-n-u, I am so very sorry to hear that your daughter's afather took his own life. Do you know if she's participating in a suicide survivors' group? Most municipal police departments have these types of groups, which are generally facilitated by chaplains who have special training in suicide and how it affects family members.

Do not know if she's attending a support group? I was thinking of asking her the next time we spoke. However, the last 2 "phone dates" have gone unanswered. I can't imagine what she's going through.

Suicide is tough. There are so many what ifs. There's so much guilt and it's hard not to take blame. IF you have her email, maybe send her this[URL="http://www.allianceofhope.org/?gclid=CKCdzfC14bkCFU1k7Aodp2sANw"] link[/URL] or a different group if you know of one. Sometimes, starting with an anonymous online forum of fellow survivors is easier than going to a live group. I wouldn't include a big email with it - Just a single sentence - Saw this and thought of you.Unfortunately, I've lost too many people in my life to suicide - 4 to be exact. My grief has been different each time, based on how close we were and what our relationship was. It's been 4 years since we lost my cousin. I still choke up when I think of his death and what the world lost. Just let her know you are here for whatever she needs. If it's talking about it, fine. If she just needs to talk about the weather or anything but that, that's fine too. I've done this for loved ones going through loss. I'll be the safe place, where they don't have to talk, where they can pretend they feel normal for 30 minutes. Where loss doesn't have to be acknowledged. We all need that place when grief is overwhelming. Maybe you can be that for her.

Thanks dmariehill for sharing. I'm sorry that you have so much experience here. This is the first person I've known to take their own life. I've been doing alot of reading online, including the link you gave above.

Have you been able to talk to her at all yet? How is she doing?And how are you doing dealing with the feelings this stirs up for you?

We communicate much more freuently than ever before which is because I've joined the age of technology and can now text... had no idea what I was missing <3I have so many feelings surrounding the whole "taking of one's life" and to have happened in my dd's life is very painful. Mostly I hurt because my dd hurts!The phrase "not a better life, just a different life" keeps running through my head.

Dear Me-n-u, I can relate... I'm sorry to say. However, I did not find out my sons' amom committed suicide until he turned 18, when we re-established contact. She died when he was just 10 years old. When I first found out I felt betrayed and worried I had chosen the wrong family... Then I spoke with the adad, and then my son, and all (well most) of my fears were alleviated. My son was doing great - healthy, happy, loved and his adad was wonderful, both in sharing with me the history of their lives together and encouraging a relationship between me and my son. We never really did talk about her, but I do know he loved her and missed her. It is all a bit convoluted now. My son passed away this past July, natural causes, and even though I barely got to know him (he was 23) I feel so fortunate to have had what I did. I think letting your daughter take the lead is the way to go. Short correspondences (texts! - I had the same experience as you) which let her know you're thinking about her... Don't forget to take care of yourself as well. This is all sure to bring up a lot of feelings for you too. Know that you are not alone...

cmcmra thank you so much for sharing! I am so very sorry for the loss of your son and that he lost his mom. I admire your "outlook" and hope I get there....I'm so very angry. It's wonderful that adad encouraged your relationship with your son. My daughter's parents have and amom continues to encourage our relationship. :love: