Would We Even Be Approved??

August 30, 2013

Hi Everyone, I've been lurking these message boards for a while and thought I should just get out and ask my question already!

My husband and I are exploring adoption. My concern is that we may not pass home study, because he has some issues from his past. Now, he's a regular guy, doesn't get in any trouble, is super responsible, etc. but in his past, he dropped out of HS, he's been to jail (15+ yrs ago) for fighting (actually, he didn't rat his friend out, and he ended up going to jail for it, but I digress...), had 2 DUIs (has been sober for 10+ yrs now), and has a tax lien from his business from 2005 that is still being paid off. (I feel like I'm airing our dirty laundry!!). He is 36, I am 30.

I just re-read my paragraph above, and it sounds like he's a bad guy, but that's really not the case! He would make an amazing dad, and he really wants to have a child.

I know they're all pretty big issues... has anyone failed home study because of the above reasons? Or a combination of any?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Please spare me any judgemental comments! Thank you!

ruth74

September 4, 2013

In terms of criminal background, it depends on what the charges were. You said he was in jail for fighting, but was he convicted of a misdemeanor or a felony? That will make a difference. If the charges had to do in any way with violence toward a child or domestic violence that will pretty much be an automatic no, but something else that long ago may be okay (it will depend on the agency). With the tax lien, they will want to know that you are financially able to raise a child. If they see a pattern of irresponsible financial decisions or that you won't be able to care for a child, that would certainly affect your chances, but a financial mistake will likely not cause you to fail a homestudy.

Expectant moms considering adoption are looking for a variety of different things in potential adoptive parents. It may be that you would not be chosen by some emoms because of your husband's past (in my opinion someone considering a family for her child deserves a general overview of PAPs pasts as well as present) but others would be fine with it and might be more comfortable with someone who has not always been "perfect" than with someone who appears never to have had any problems or made any mistakes.