Q's for experienced FP's

Maybe not violent but there will be some jealousy. Mine were all foster/adopted but L came home first so he had year without the others. There are other factors to consider. In NY, daycare is paid for. The rest is a crap shoot! I suggest getting kids younger than yours. If you get them older, it puts your bio kids at a disadvantage.

1. I don't have bio children. So this wasn't a problem for me, but I hear a lot about maintaining birth order. 2. In WA State yes. Every state is different.3. No kiddo is the same as others. Roo had horrible behaviors when he came, but really it took about a month to work out the kinks, and then he started thriving, visits had set backs, and sometimes he would push boundaries but nothing like in the beginning. 4. Again no clue.. but my dog hated it. 5. If only I had a crystal ball... My current placement and her sibling who already left were supposed to be here "at the very least" 18 months and I was told "they are yours" "Are you an adoptive resource" "This might be permanent" "Want to adopt them?" About 500 times this was asked... but really, Roo RU'd in 5 months, and Sis starts her transition here shortly... Bios shocked everyone and pulled their head out from you know where rather quickly. So there is no real way to know for sure.

The short answer is it all depends...All FC have issues of some sort. Sometimes you will know ahead of time, sometimes not. But I wouldn't generalize an say all FC are violent and violent toward other children. I had a child that raged but she only harmed herself in those instances. IL pays for daycare (daycare that accepts the state rate) only when all FPs in the home work full time outside the home.My recommendation would be to take kids younger than your bios if this is a concern for you. Long term placements are pretty common. You can sometimes gage how certain placements will go for the reason they come into care or are accept a placement from a previous home (as was the instance in our case). But it is HARD to watch a long term placement go home. Especially if you aren't sure they will be safe.Additionally, these questions are often addressed in training.

1. I went into fostering with the same thought. We didn't want a child older than our eldest who was 10, so we went for birth-7. We ended up with very young children until we took a 12 yr old for a weekend respite. Our DD was 13 by this time. We fell in love with her and ended up keeping her for 6 months until she was sent to an Aunt.The next year we got a 14 yr old who we eventually adopted and had another 15 yr old placed with us for 4 months. Our bio daughter and our older adopted daughter are the same age having been born 3 days apart. So now I have twins. We also adopted our second placement who was 18 months old at the time of placement. We were not open to taking children with a SA history,and violence toward animals or others. I certainly would not recommend taking a placement that was older than your kids right off the bat. Older kids come with different issues that can take experienced parents to deal with. Foster care has many challenges, so I would suggest you keep to kids younger than your 6 yr old, or even younger than the 3 yr old. 2. Depends on the state on what they will cover. My state covers daycare if the parents work outside of the home. 3. The temperament of foster children is the same as any child. Some have issues because abuse or neglect, but there really isn't any way to know beforehand. 4. Just like any other children. Some children get jealous and there are the usual problems of juggling siblings(because that is what foster children are-temporary siblings). 5. When a child comes into care, there is no way to know how long they will be in your home. The process of foster care is so varied and convoluted it could be from a week to a year or more. So many variables in every case. You can read many threads talking about timelines on the foster forums. Everybody has a different story to tell. The average stay in my county is 6 months and other than the kids we adopted, that is the longest time any have stayed with us before being RU'd or sent to relatives.

I don't have all that much experience, but I'll share my perspective. 1. It's not "irrational" to fear the safety of your bio-kids... but it's probably unlikely. You can lesson the chance of having bio kids with severe issues if you specify only mild behaviors and you do your homework asking the case worker questions up front to ensure you don't take placements that are volatile. My opinion (for what it's worth... which may be nothing) just in my experience is that the milder kids will generally be RU'd / and the RU will be quicker. This makes logical sense.... grandma can deal with well behaved grand-kid, but not one with huge issues so more likely to want custody. I'm not sure it would be backed up with stats.... it's just what I've seen and heard. So - if you have a well behaved kid they may not be with you long term. Give that your kids are 3 and 6, though, that might be for the best. It will be harder on your kids that age to have a "Sibling" with them for 2 years that then leaves.... just something to think about. 2. Not only does your state have to offer it, but you have to "qualify" - so for example if you work part time, then you probably can't have full time daycare... even if you volunteer a bunch or whatever. You'll learn about all that in classes. Check with the daycare that your kids are now attending and make sure they will "take" kids who receive daycare subsidy. Not all daycares will (in fact I am in a county with a LOT of kids in care and there are about 10 that will accept the subsidy). However, if you get a kid that is already going to daycare they will REALLY REALLY encourage you to leave the child in his environment - as long as it is safe. Continuity is really important for kids. I would say it's especially important for kids with trauma backgrounds, but I think it's important for ALL kids. If you are going to be a 6 month or even a year placement and then they are going to be RU'd - why pull them out of a daycare when they will go back to their original one when they are RU'd with their family or relative? Makes more sense to leave them where they are familiar and let them at least bond with the other kids and workers. 3. I have had 3 sets of kids (2 sisters 6/10, 2 sisters 3/4 and my current placement of 2 days "Little Man" who is 2.8yo.) They have all had RADICALLY different temperaments. This is something to discuss with the caseworker when she calls with a potential placement. 4. I have a 13 yo Bio-daughter. My expectation is that the FC is integrated into the family. So, I expect them to walk and talk and act like siblings. Which means they may not always get along, but they work through it. My foster kids will not be "guests" in my home. They will be family and will be treated accordingly, with the same rights, responsibilities and treatment of any other kid in my home (DSS permitting!!!!). So, that means if the budget for Christmas gifts is $100, then now that we have 2 kids.... bio-daughter gets $50 in gifts and 1 fc gets $50 in gifts. That's what family does. There are people who don't agree with that approach. It's up to you. 5. It totally just depends.