How would we know

Hey Tanker, Back when our mothers were pregnant they had to go to the doctor for the pregnancy test. A wise man (my dad) told me in his experience - they either asked him where they could get an abortion (which he couldn't tell them because abortion was illegal but always someone in the town did them), or, they just wanted the test to confirm or deny the pregnancy. Those that asked re abortion (or their mothers asked for them) - some would end up back in to be patched up from the back alley abortion and others got lucky and not butchered, those that never asked that question about abortion either went away to "care for sick relative" or similar excuse and came back later without the baby, or, quickly got married and he delivered a full term baby they told others was a preemie. So yes - abortion is a decision whether or not to carry the pregnancy to term and adoption is a decision where you have decided not to parent. Whether or not abortion crossed someone's mind when they found out they were pregnant is irrelevant - thoughts are not actions or decisions - especially thoughts where you are considering the options available. I would suggest it is the rare person who decides on an abortion and changes their mind and choses adoption instead, and, reading documents and discussions by Crisis Pregnancy Centers - they have not been able prove they stop any abortions from happening and getting them to chose adoption either. Kind regards,Dickons

I agree with this. It's part of the argument I have regularly with people. It's typically not a decision between adoption and abortion. It's a decision to abort or continue the pregnancy. Most who choose adoption, on this forum especially, indicate they never even considered abortion. Adoption is the choice to parent or not. It's funny because a lot of women who consider abortion and change their mind, end up parenting not placing for adoption. The two choices really aren't related even though most people think they are.

I can only speak for myself... I did not and would not consider adoption. While abortion was illegal, I knew a number of classmates who had multiple "D & C's" because of "irregularities in their periods." Since my Dad was a doctor, I'm sure it could have been arranged. (Just so you know it was not always the "back room" or clothes hanger abortion.) I have a number of bmom friends who, while they are pro-abortion, are insulted when people assume they even considered it for their child. The basic difference between many of us and our peers are that we got pregnant and they didn't when we had sex. Each of us made our own decisions about what to do with the pregnancy (or our parents made them for us.) I had a college classmate who got pregnant and was forced by her parents and priest to have an abortion. She never really got over it and never did have any children.I would also say that for many of us, (at least for me and for some of the others I know) placing our children for adoption was not the opposite of parenting but a deliberate attempt to make the best parental decision we could for our children. The reasons varied and I can really only speak for myself and my own situation. When I placed, there was no such thing as "open" adoption. It was never my desire to be a secret from my son and I have always been open to contact. We have been in reunion for 8 years at this point and I have always been willing to answer any questions he has for me.

Sadly even when adoptees get information it isn't always truthful. When I was pregnant abortion was legal but I wanted to be a mother so it wasn't an option nor was adoption. I was coerced into surrendering and as I didn't know my rights I was a complete walkover. My son's adoptive parents believed what they were told as they had no reason to believe that they might be lied. They believed I wanted him adopted so that's what they told him but he always knew that they were supportive of him searching for me when he was old enough. He searched and found my family who refused to tell him where I was as did my in laws. None of them told me they had been contacted. I 'dipped my toe in' over searching but was clueless how to so that was that. Eventually we did reunite in the most unlikely way at that time as I joined a site he belonged to. Since then that site has become a popular site for people searching. Of course he and his adoptive family know the truth now but if he hadn't reunited he would have continued to believe I didn't want to raise him.