take me through the process

There are a lot of great books that would be available at your local library. There is even a book called "Adoption for Dummies". Or you can find plenty of info on the internet, including this site (adoption.com)

I guess I am really asking what the classes are like (I know they are subtly different)?

Depends on a lot of different things. What type of adoption, what agency you're using, what state. Some places you have to sit in a classroom and hear lectures, some make you watch videos. Some just make you read a book and sign off that you read it. Maybe you can reach out to other people using the same agency you are and ask them what their experience was like? Or post here what agency you are using and others can respond if they have info.

Unfortunately there seems to be a deficiency in people doing DSS adoption from South Carolina on the boards/forums.

I am in KY- so I can only speak for our process. We attended an orientation in March 2012. It was a one hour "class" held at a local church where the instructor basically just had us fill out a general info form- gave us more complete forms to hold on to and answered questions. In our area they do the classes in cycles- you can do 6 our session on Saturdays and be done within about a month- or you can do 3 hours on weeknights for about 9 weeks. We opted for the longer session on weeknights. In my state- they don't separate the adoption portion from foster care- so it is all in one. That is because KY does a lot of concurrent planning cases- where a child is on concurrent tracks- RU or Adoption if RU can't happen. It is still foster first- and my home worker recently told me that even if we wanted to be foster only- she wouldn't bank on that because so many of our cases go to adoption eventually. Anyway- all but 6 hours focuses on foster care, the final 6 hours were about concurrent planning and adoption. This is good because if/when we get to adopt, we won't have to go through a separate approval process. The classes themselves had a different subject each week- mostly focusing on the following: 1. Parenting abused/traumatized children 2. Knowing your limits- ie "will not parent a child who is a fire-starter- sexually abused, etc. 3. Identifying types of abuse, what behaviours you may encounter 4. Dealing with racial and cultural divides 5. Discipline and why we can't use corporal punishment 6. Working with the cabinet and birth parents to help with reunificatio 8. Finding/using a support network 7. Concurrent planning and adoption - There were a lot more specific classes- but a LOT of it was redundant. And we were not impressed with the way the classes were run. The instructors spent a lot more time relaying personal stories- some were helpful- others not so much- than sticking to the curriculum. They don't even require safety and first aid in my state- something I think they should require! Unless you are an advanced or medically fragile home. We are just a basic home- I assume that the classes for advanced and medically fragile are more involved. The classes were, for lack of a better description- REALLY dumbed down. And when I listened to some of the people in the class- I get why. We had some language barriers- some great folks that were there for kinship that were not very educated. And I assume they get a lot of that. Throughout the beginning classes- they ran basic criminal background checks and did interviews to find out more about us. It was kind of a "weeding out" process. For example- if they found someone had priors with CPS they were automatically disqualified. Our class started out a lot larger and slimmed down as the weeks went on. Then each week they asked for more paperwork- rather than having us turn everything in at once. That was good- gave us time to ask questions about things in our home-study packets. Towards the end of the classes we were assigned and contacted by our home study/licensing workers. Some went ahead and started the home study- ours was by the book and scheduled our first home study visit for after our classes ended. The home study process was pretty painless. At the first visit our worker spent about an 2 hours interviewing us and asking us a lot of questions about our history- parenting philosophy, why we want to foster and adopt,e tc. It gets pretty personal, but DH and I are talkers so it went well. Our LW gave us a packet with the safety/first aid items and procedures we needed to prepare our home for her second visit. Her next visit was a couple of weeks later. We didn't have to have the baby/toddler room ready until that next visit. She asked a lot of questions about age range- how we plan to do daycare/respite, etc. In our case we used my mother who was background checked and approved over the summer as well. She only had to fill out paperwork and have the LW do a safety check at her home. At the second visit she told us she was recommending us for approval. About 6 weeks later (first of December) we got a call that we were approved and officially on the list, and that we would probably have a placement before our worker made it to our home to have us sign our contract. That is exactly what happened and we go the call for our first concurrent planning foster baby the next day. She was with us for four months and then her grandparents changed their minds and decided to petition for custody- we went on hold for a month and two weeks after coming off hold met our current foster daughter- whose worker is in the process of officially changing the goal to adoption by us! Still a ways to go- but seems to be going in the right direction (she has had no bio-parental involvement for over 6 months so they are treating it like abandonment.) Hope that answers some questions. I think other states have similar programs- but it can vary greatly state to state. Good luck!

Thank you. That was super helpful.

I'm not in So. Carolina, but will tell you to really talk with your partner about your vision for your family. We had been selected to adopt an AA toddler with his baby coming free. Right before the placement, we were talking as a couple and it came out that my DH couldn't handle people always knowing the child was adopted and asking questions. He wanted something similar to his race. We pulled out and went after Hispanic children instead. Another thing I really want to have you talk about is how many children from this birth mom are you ready to take? Our son joined us when he was 3 1/2 within 6 months another baby was born and DSS asked us if we wanted him. Then 3 years later, we got another call asking us if we could take another infant. We did, but we were ready for it. Many BM's in the system tend to be young and will have multiple children come into care. When you struggle with building a family, you are ready to parent anything, but I would encourage you to be selective and really weigh out what you can/can't take on. There is no harm in passing on a child and you are unsure of. Remember both of you need to be sure of your placement. Hope this helps. We love all 3 of our boys we adopted from Foster Care and are so in love. One more thing. Really prepare yourself for the endless questions that range from: Are they a drug baby? Is their BM in jail? What for? Didn't anyone in the family want them? This can be from your best friends or family. Just have ready your story for the kids placement. I have no problem telling people it's none of their business, but those around you will ask and not always be thoughtful in the way they ask.

Oh yeah, we have talked and talked and talked again about what children would fit in our family. I would probably say something similar too that it's not any of their business but I can be very prickly about intrusiveness. When I was pregnant with my biodd some stranger rubbed my belly, I rubbed theirs back--it was an older middle aged man who thought it was okay to touch a total stranger. With our close friends, especially those who are being our references will be privy a bit more to our struggles