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What a title, huh? So, I'm happy the agency finally got our adoption packets send to the state. I'm not thrilled because we are just 2 or 3 months shy of having the kids with us for 3 years. TRP was finalized back in May of 2012. That was 19 MONTHS ago. When they said this road required patience, I didn't realize it needed this much.
So why so long? .... um, great question. :confused: Turns out that all but the new adoption worker from our agency left at pretty much the same time. So it was up to the Sup. and the 'new' person to do all the adoptions till others could be hired and trained. We were finally assigned a worker 6 months after TPR, but the worker wasn't trained yet. We didn't know this at the time and though we were finally going to see movement on the finalization. The worker was finally trained, but was very new and nothing much happened for another 4 months. But our one kid's paperwork was the one she was learning from - didn't give me much comfort. Sorry.
It took a year from the time TPR was finalized for us to finally get any movement. May have had something to do with a standard permanency hearing, where I'm pretty sure the judge was expecting to see something happening.
So paperwork got started and was soooo slow going it was ridiculous. I understand you are new, learning this, still have your court cases and home visits to do, but come on! These are pretty easy kids. I could understand if we had the more complicated sibling, but we don't. Yes, there are ST and Developmental Therapies and IEPs involved, but come on, you have all the information. It isn't even like the parents disappeared or are hard to find. BioDad is a registered sex offender and they haven't left the area. His address is public knowledge.
So 19 months later and the packets are FINALLY done. :arrow: DH wasn't even excited about this fact. I was just thrilled something happened. Of course, while finishing up these and getting ready to send them off another CW I the office realized that all the court documents, except one, has one of our FS's name a bit messed up. Instead of having his full legal name, they are missing the "Jr." part. Really? No one noticed that till now? I've never seen them or else I could have told them this 2.5 years ago.
Repeat after me: Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue.
And so on we go, into the new year with every one around us asking, "What is going on? Are they adopted yet? Why not?" And this my friends is why we didn't tell anyone about the adoption (well, except my parents) till the middle part of this year. We knew it would take a long time and be slow. This is getting ridiculous though.
On a brighter note, the kids are settling in, maturing and life is becoming easier. Even bed times have finally smoothed themselves out. We comment almost every night, "Do you remember how it used to be? How hard it was? What happened to make it so easy finally?" Then we settle on the couch next to each other still with a bit of energy left and enjoy some quiet kid free time together before going to bed. I never thought this part of our lives would actually happen till they graduated high school and moved out. :love:
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LOL...isn't it amazing how some of these government agencies work? The first time I tried to get licensed to foster, there was so much turn over that even after a year they still werent done licensing me, and then they actually lost ALL of my paperwork. If you or I functioned at work the way these places function we would be out of a job!
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dhardawa
I had planned to have an adoption party, do announcements, etc. It took 2 years and 4 months to get my son adopted. They knew from day one he wasn't going back, but the system is a mess. The day of his adoption, I was just so jaded with everything that I didn't feel like celebrating.
Today's home visit:
CW - "Is your DH home?"
Me - "Nope, but he should be here soon."
CW - "Good. There is a paper I need you all to resign and I forgot to mention it to you."
Me - "He shouldn't be too long."
{several minutes later while sitting down to update on how the month went}
CW - "Oh I forgot to tell you, these papers are part of the corrections I got back. They sent the corrections back a few days ago."
Me - "Really?! and this is it?!"
CW - "This and a copy of a court order. If your DH doesn't come in time to sign these today, I can leave them with you. If you can get them to me by the end of the week that would be great. I should receive a copy of the court document tomorrow, have my supervisor review it then I can send it off again. They'll look at it, send it to the Feds, who take about 3 days to review it, then we can set a court date."
Me (inside = :woohoo: :happydance: , outside = :cool:) - "That is great. "
Really, she forgot to tell me?? Granted, she is one busy lady, so I can see where she figured to just wait till our home visit that was going to happen in a few days, rather than shift gears and make a call about something I didn't need to do anything for.
Unfortunately DH didn't come home for lunch in time to catch the CW, so we'll have to 'run' it the 30 minutes to the office to take it back to her. I can't believe that it may actually be completed in a month, or just a bit more. After 2 years and 10 months it just seems unreal.
So this is what it is like when you have a worker actually working on your adoption. It is kinda, really really really!!!!!!, nice.
I have to salute your patience! I can't imagine how hard it's been. I guess the good thing is that at least TPR was done and you weren't battling in court the whole time.
And the kids are settled and won't even notice the difference - it'll just mean you guys can finally relax. Fingers crossed for you that it happens quickly!
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Wow - waiting 19 months - I hope that you finalize soon.
And I thought our seven month wait was bad - When everything turned over to the Adoption Worker after TPR I was told it would be no more than 45 days... yeah right.
You're right though it did seem anti-climatic after that time, they already are yours. For me the only difference was that Li'l Singer's name legally changed, we had been calling her by her new name since TPR
Talked to our AW on Friday. Subsidy stuff was finished, corrections made and approved. Now things have to be sent off to the Feds (?), returned, then we will get a court date. AW said Feds usually take a day or two. So, here is hoping for good news this week.
Oh, and the AW is leaving the agency. Guess I'm just glad our stuff was finished before having to get a new AW to complete it. At this rate the kids will have been in care 1 month shy of 3 years and have had TPR completed for 20 months (1 year 8 months).
FS6, when told he needed to sign his homework last week, asked if he could sign it "John Doe" with "Doe" being our last name. I told him to go right ahead, except I had to spell it for him. I think I'll add a note for the teacher about this. I think they are just ready to have their new names.
The kids have no idea what is going on or where things are in the process. The oldest remembers living with others, but FS4 doesn't. It is almost like explaining to a biochild that they now get to live with you all the time - they would think you were a bit crazy. We've mentioned that they grew in their other mommy's tummy and have said "when you came to live with us" and so on, but I'm not sure what it means to them or if the youngest ever considered this living arrangement as not being an option.
Anyway, here's to potentially good news. I just want it to happen soon. Today would be okay with me.
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