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Hi there! :love:
I'm just looking for some support & love. I won't be giving a ton of details as I don't want to violate HIPAA laws, or any other kind of law! I'm a big rule follower ;)
Anywho, I'm a nurse in my 30's. Married with a toddler. I have a private duty case I work with a special needs child whom I have just fallen in love with. Parental rights haven't been terminated, however, after spending a large portion of the day with them (& the foster family) yesterday, it is very apparent that mom & dad cannot handle the child, the medical issues or each other. Its a sad situation all around. Foster mom & I just want the child to be well loved and well cared for, and we fear that he won't be well cared for if the judge gives the parents custody.
Mom & dad still have a few months to get their act together and do the work they need to do, but I'm starting research for myself now in case they don't. My husband & I have discussed adopting the child. I feel like its the right thing to do, he's worried about the financial aspect of things. At the moment, he's a stay at home parent, and I work. Things would likely have to flip flop, and thats where his panic sets in. Thru my limited research, I've seen that medical benefits & a subsidy come with a foster adoption. Correct? That would be helpful!
I've never done anything like this before... so I'm a brand new newbie! I know the adoption process can be extensive, but how extensive? I'm ready & willing to do what I need to do for this little guy. He deserves it! Thanks in advance for reading and answering my silly questions!
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You'd likely have to approach the county NOW about becoming a foster/adopt parent. You need to go through training, get a homestudy completed, etc.
If TPR is happening in a few months, they are likely looking for prospective adoptive parents right now. It is possible that it is even too late to get your name in the hat for this child, although, if the medical issues are severe enough, they might have a hard time finding an adoptive placement, anyway.
I take it his foster family is not willing to adopt?
Yes, you will get to keep medicaid for this child through his 18th birthday, and get a cash subsidy each month to assist with care. The amount varies so much by state, you should probably look up the general ball park in your state on this site: [url=http://www.nacac.org/]NACAC[/url]
Good luck. If you are interested, definitely start pursuing this now. You don't want this case to go to adoption, and then be passed over because you didn't get started soon enough.
Besides the homestudy, you may also have to figure out your work situation. They'll be looking for stability. You quiting your job and your husband searching probably won't be good enough. Ideally he'd have been at work for a while and would be past any probationary periods. It might be enough if he just has a job. If you can accomplish these things then you'd probably be selected since you already have a relationship. They might even wait a little for you to get things in order if the foster parent advocates for you.
You also need to be aware that if the parents complete their service plan then he will probably go back to them regardless of how uncomfortable anyone and everyone is with their chance of success.
I would ad that the foster family the child is with now would probably get first crack at adoption if they want that. It sounds like you have been communicating with that family enough to know if that is their intention though.
Other than that, I second approaching your local county DSS (or whatever it is called in your state) and starting the process of becoming a foster/adopt parent. This takes anywhere from 3 months to ... a lot longer. It took our family a year. That way if the child's case goes to adoption, you can be considered a resource.
I would also say that you may consider not switching roles with your husband but making sure he is trained on the child's care. In all practicality, he will need to know how to do it anyway to be the adoptive father. Also, if the child qualifies for nursing care now, they will most likely continue to qualify for nursing, make it possible for you to continue to work. As others have indicated, medical and a monthly subsidy is also typically covered till the child is 18-21. The amount varies by state.
Thank you for the responses!
As far as I'm aware, the current foster mom has been approached about being guardian or adopting. But, she knows its not something that she can do. I'm not sure what exactly is going on as far as the child goes when it comes to adoption, but what I know for sure is that he is a difficult case to place medically. It took them months to find a foster placement because of his condition.
DH & I discussed the work situation a bit more as well. I told him that since he has to be trained (as does everyone else in the home), I could work some day shifts once he's comfortable with the child. The whole idea behind me staying home with the kids was because I already know the in's & out's of the medical problems with the child, so I figured it'd be better for me. Heck, if I could still use him as my private duty nursing case I would ;)
I'll look into what I need to do to start the adoption process. Thanks guys!
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Additionally, the state is required to do a search for biological family members of the child who would be willing/able to adopt. That is both the father's family and the mother's family. We were not able to foster our relative in care because we lived in another state and the (birth) parents would not be able to work their caseplan if the child were with us. So while we could not foster, we were able to adopt. Not having family available to foster does not preclude family who can adopt. Good luck!
Barksum
Additionally, the state is required to do a search for biological family members of the child who would be willing/able to adopt. That is both the father's family and the mother's family.
We were not able to foster our relative in care because we lived in another state and the (birth) parents would not be able to work their caseplan if the child were with us. So while we could not foster, we were able to adopt. Not having family available to foster does not preclude family who can adopt.
Good luck!
Great advice from some very talented and experienced people. You almost certainly would qualify as "fictive kin" for this child. A category invented so the state could have its cake and eat it too, I mean, could have a child adopted by a non-relative, but classify that statistically as "family" or "relative" adoption. "Fictive kin" also gives a legal validity to relationships like yours, where you have a bind with the child from working with him. It could apply to neighbors, teachers, family friends, etc. It should give you a higher "ranking" than a foster parent who doesn't know him, close to distant relatives. Zoom into and through those foster classes, take the fastest track you can. Hope this helps.