Information in the UK

Hi Bethany,I'm a UK adopter (I've adopted domestically 3 times)Wanting to adopt is great, and so is being able to plan ahead, however I would say this:Russia has been an option up until now, but I would not be hopeful for it being an option for you from now. I'm sad to say that, but it's unlikely to be a good option for you. It may close down completely to Europeans soon, although so far it's still openYou being a single woman (I'm assuming you are single, correct me if I'm wrong) may not be okay any more - this year Russia are passing legislation banning all single parent adoptions from countries where same sex marriage is legal, and this includes the UK. It doesn't matter if you are heterosexual, all single women would be banned from adopting.The best people to advise you and get updates from would as far as I know be the Intercountry Adoption Centre [url=http://www.icacentre.org.uk/]InterCountry Adoption Centre - Home[/url] I suggest contacting them to ask for information on legalities and requirementsAdoption is a very big undertaking and it's very important to do a lot of thinking, reading and preparing for itI don't know what age requirements Russia has in place for single adoptive parents. However whilst the minimum age for a domestic adopton is 21, UK agencies are very unlikely to consider you until you are about 23/24+, because they generally consider 21 to be too young. I'm not saying that you aren't mature, but from the agencies perspective most 21 year olds don't have a huge amount of life experience, and may not yet have what it takes to parent a child who has emotional needs. It's much harder than parenting a birth child.They would also be worried that you won't understand what you are getting yourself into, that you might not understand how difficult it is to parent an adopted child and they will have concerns that because of your young age you may disrupt an adoption if you struggle, that you are more likely to regret your decisions and place the child back in care, and then try to concieve a biological child, or travel the world or do the things you didn't do before adopting. I'm not saying that this describes you, but it's what agencies will have in their heads. For international adoption, you need the money to do it - the charge for the homestudy alone is likely to be at least £4000, but then the thousands will be piling up - documents, translations, let alone the trips to the adopting country, all the airfare, living costs, donations etc. Not many people in their early 20's have enough money saved up to be financing an adoption that might cost over £25,000. Do you have that kind of money in savings, or do you have a large income? (obviously I'm not asking you to tell me that, but you need to have considered all this yourself)If Russia is not an option for you, what then? To adopt domestically, you need to show you have a good network of support around you, that you understand what it means to parent a traumatised child, you can support yourself and your child, but also that you are comfortable that you may never be able to have a birth child, or have the opportunities to do things like travel, put long hours in building a career, or anything like thatAll things to think about in a lot of detailI wish you all the best of luck

Russia has been an option up until now, but I would not be hopeful for it being an option for you from now. I'm sad to say that, but it's unlikely to be a good option for you. It may close down completely to Europeans soon, although so far it's still open-I have heard this is a possibility but Russia is just a starting point I am also looking into other countries in eastern Europe. You being a single woman (I'm assuming you are single, correct me if I'm wrong) may not be okay any more - this year Russia are passing legislation banning all single parent adoptions from countries where same sex marriage is legal, and this includes the UK. It doesn't matter if you are heterosexual, all single women would be banned from adopting.- I am single but I have worked out that by the time I have finished my education and have a house and a job I will be about 27 so who knows if I'll be married by then. The best people to advise you and get updates from would as far as I know be the Intercountry Adoption Centre InterCountry Adoption Centre - Home I suggest contacting them to ask for information on legalities and requirements Adoption is a very big undertaking and it's very important to do a lot of thinking, reading and preparing for it- My friend and her bother and sister were adopted domestically and her mam and dad are helping me find out information and giving me links to domestic adoption agencies. I don't know what age requirements Russia has in place for single adoptive parents. However whilst the minimum age for a domestic adoption is 21, UK agencies are very unlikely to consider you until you are about 23/24+, because they generally consider 21 to be too young. I'm not saying that you aren't mature, but from the agencies perspective most 21 year olds don't have a huge amount of life experience, and may not yet have what it takes to parent a child who has emotional needs. It's much harder than parenting a birth child. They would also be worried that you won't understand what you are getting yourself into, that you might not understand how difficult it is to parent an adopted child and they will have concerns that because of your young age you may disrupt an adoption if you struggle, that you are more likely to regret your decisions and place the child back in care, and then try to conceive a biological child, or travel the world or do the things you didn't do before adopting. I'm not saying that this describes you, but it's what agencies will have in their heads.- I understand that adoption is a massive undertaking and comes with many complications. However I feel that this is the only way I would be prepared to have a child/children. I have no desire and have never had any desire to have a biological child. I do not ever think that I will ever have a biological child because I don't understand the sense in having children when there are so many children out there that needs homes and families to love them. For international adoption, you need the money to do it - the charge for the home-study alone is likely to be at least 4000, but then the thousands will be piling up - documents, translations, let alone the trips to the adopting country, all the airfare, living costs, donations etc. Not many people in their early 20's have enough money saved up to be financing an adoption that might cost over ã25,000. Do you have that kind of money in savings, or do you have a large income? (obviously I'm not asking you to tell me that, but you need to have considered all this yourself)- I have around 10000 that my mam and dad saved for me from the sale of there house years ago.

If Russia is not an option for you, what then?- I am looking into both other eastern European countries as well as domestic adoptions provided I can have a closed adoption domestically. To adopt domestically, you need to show you have a good network of support around you, that you understand what it means to parent a traumatised child, you can support yourself and your child, but also that you are comfortable that you may never be able to have a birth child, or have the opportunities to do things like travel, put long hours in building a career, or anything like that-I have a large very supportive family and in September I will be starting a two year health and social care course. I have already done a two year uniformed public services course. I will be then doing a four year course in criminology at university. By the time I adopt I will have a house and job. My tutors are writing me a referral to be put on a fast track programme in the police service for when I have finished university. However if I was made to choose between my career and adopting a child I would choose adopting a child. I have no desire to travel extensively or have a biological child. I mainly want to adopt a sibling group of 2-4 children aged between 2 and 12 preferably all boys (my family is overrun with girls only four out of my ten nieces and nephews are boys and I'm the youngest of five girls). Thank you for bringing the information about Russia stopping singles from adopting I did not know that.

Being 27 with a house and job is a good position to be inI was 28 when I started the adoption process myself, and had an age range of 3-12, very similar to what you're thinking about. I was 30 when my 10 year old daughter came home, and I have to say I was naive about what it really means to parent a child with many emtotional needs. I don't regret adoption for one second, it's been the best thing I've ever done, but I am glad I was no younger than 30 when my daughter came home (I was more patient, and had more wisdom than when I was say 25, but still had a lot more energy than I have now at 47!)I can give you lots of information/advice/tips about domestic adoption, but very little about international adoption except what I know is happening legally, because I haven't done it. For a domestic adoption, agenices approving a single mother would in all likelihood not approve her for more than a sibling group of 2. To be approved for the sibling groups of 3, there would need to be a couple usually. Simply because the demands of caring for our children can be so high that a bigger group than 2 for a single mum would be too risky for an agency to be willing to take that risk, and the risk of you not being able to cope is pretty high as wellI do know a couple of single mums who have adopted 2 at once though who are doing very well :) It's very very hard work but they are managing it all and don't regret their decision. I always wanted a large family, always planned to have 3+ children, and I have 3 now, but I adopted them one at a timeThe advice I usually give to people who would like 3 or 4+ children is to adopt them 1 or 2 at a time. It's less overwhelming and you have several years to see how your first children are doing so you can assess whether they can cope as part of a larger sibling group and you have time to settle into being mum of 1 or 2 and then see how you feel about being mum of 3/4+Domestically, what do you mean by a 'closed adoption'? I've talked to poeple with different ideas about what that means!When it comes to domestic adoption, the vast majority of waiting children come with a letterbox arrangement, whereby you write either one or two letters a year to their birth parents and hopefully they write back to you, although for some parents it's so painful they don't feel able to write back, or for some other reason they don't reply to your letters. Think like one or one and a half A4 pages of writing from you, giving them information and an update without revealing any identifying informationA small number of children need to see their birth parents once or twice a year, and another small number of children are put up for adoption with no contact at all - generally there has to be something very serious going on for social services to think that even one letter a year is not in the childs best interestsGoing into the process, most people are worried about contact, and most people finish it being happy to send one or two letters a year, which means they can be considered for most waiting childrenIf you ended the process and didn't feel comfortable with even writing letters, then yes you can stil adopt but you will need to accept that you will probably have a much longer wait to find a child, because only a minority have a plan for no contact. If you can accept a possible long wait, that's fine. The important thing is that you don't lie to social workers and say you'd be happy to write letters if you aren't. Only accept something you are comfortable with and don't ever promise the birth parents something you won't follow through onThe other form of contact that happens when possible is a one off meeting between birth parents and adoptive parents usually before than child is placed, but sometimes afterwards. You can ask each other questions and give reassurances -eg. you can ask why your child has x for their name, and you can see each other as real human beings rather than abstract figures on paper.In addition to parents, siblings are a big thing. Sibling letters are common and meetings between siblings post adoption are much more common than meetings between child and birth parents (which are uncommon). It's also important to consider what you feel comfortable with in supporting your childs sibling relationships if they have siblings adopted seperatelyWith older children, it's important to accept that even if the older child does not want to have contact with their parents, they often have very mixed up and strong feelings anyway, so it's very important to be able to talk openly and supportively, letting them know that their past and other family are an open topic of conversation. My eldest daughter for instance has never wanted any contact with her birth parents (although I have always written lettres to her siblings and facilitated meetings with them etc), but we still talked about them and her memories of living with them often.Sorry for the long post! :)

Also - As far as i know, I'm the only regular poster on this forum who lives in the UK, so whilst you can get legal information for EE countries here, for UK process support it may be better to post on a UK forumI'd try either the Adoption boards at Mumsnet, Fertility Friends adoption section or the AdoptionUK message boards (but AUK boards are less busy than the first two). You'll be able to get support and information from lots of online people then rather than just me :D

By closed adoption I mean no direct contact with the child be it through letters or visits other than with siblings. Contact with birth parents through letters wrote and sent by me. Thank you for telling me with the other sites

My fiance and I have considered adoption from Russia (we live in the UK now as well) but we eliminated the idea entirely because I'm an American citizen and therefore can't adopt from Russia under any circumstances. But while we were still looking into to I was given to understand by people we talked to that Russia was going to ban adoptions by people from any country where same sex marriage is legalized, which wold include the UK.

Can I ask where you found that information because I have been told by others that it is only adoption by singles where it is legal for same sex marriage is going to be stopped.

That one I actually heard from the Russian side of things, I did not hear that from a British adoption agency, so take it with a grain of salt. (my fiance and I have been living in Russia, that's why we hoped to consider adoption from there, we've only just come back to the UK.)