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Hi. I am newly married, but we have been together for four years. I am 28 and my husband is 41. We both have stable jobs and we rent a nice four bedroom house. He has 2 children from his first marriage, but had a vasectomy done for health reasons (pregnancy endangered his ex wife). We would like to have a baby of our own, but I feel as if it seems like a lot of work to bring a new child into the world when there are so many already here who need homes. My husband was adopted, and seeing the love and devotion his parents have for him and vice versa is one of the most amazing things I have witnessed, and I want to be able to provide a child with the same. My only worry is that a few years ago, I was in a bad place. I was in an abusive relationship with a drug addict (didn't know he was an addict at the time) and an alcoholic. During this time I was arrested a few times for drunk driving. I haven't been in trouble since 2009, but I worry that my criminal history may disqualify me. Has anyone had anything like this and been able to adopt? They are all misdemeanor charges, and its been almost 5 years since the last one. My husband and I would both be able to pass drug tests.
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I think that a DUI history that is that recent, especially with more than one, would likely be a problem. Even with a history further back, a social worker would likely want to see that you had had counseling/ treatment of some sort. I would also suggest you think about the idea of many children who need homes. If you are considering adopting an older child through foster care this is certainly true. There are also many older children and children with significant special needs internationally who need homes. However, if you are considering adopting an infant, there are many more couples hoping to adopt than there are children in need of homes. I'm not saying this to invalidate that choice - I adopted my son privately as a newborn - but the idea that you will be providing a newborn with a home and loving family who would otherwise not have had one is not accurate.
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Actually, it depends on your social worker. Your social worker will make that determination. Make sure you bring it up as soon as you talk to them. Since it as been a long time, I really think it will be fine. You have been able to show that you are fine since then. From what I have seen, a social worker that works with an attorney is usually more relaxed. Again, that is just what I have seen in adoptions in our adoption support group.