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I am considering becoming a foster parent, but I am afraid to start the process and be turned down.
I will give you some background information...
-I am not married, but my boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years.
-We currently rent a home with 2 bedrooms and have 2 cats.
-He works full time and I work part time as a nanny making cash. (can't prove my income :-/ )
-We attended church together regularly and are both on the board. I am also the youth leader.
-I don't have a record and have never been in trouble besides a few traffic tickets and a couple car accidents.
-My boyfriend was in trouble when he was younger. It has been more than 10-15 years ago. He got caught with some marijuana, but I don't believe he even had to serve jail time for it. So, very minor. The only "trouble" he has been in since is for driving violations and unpaid tickets. His license is currently suspended but he should get it back once we pay all his fines. (He is currently on a payment plan.) Do they check driving records? Would this be a strike against us because he doesn't currently have a license? He DOES NOT drive without a license so the child would never been "in danger".
-We both had a couple months this winter where work was scares and have had to apply for and use state aid to pay our utilities and currently receive food stamps. Would this come across as not being able to provide for ourselves? :-( We are not proud of the fact we couldn't pay our own bills and had to ask for help, but we're grateful the resources were available in our time of need!!!
-We don't have any children together, but we feel strongly that we could help a child in need and provide a loving, caring, nurturing home for them while they were in our care. :-)
I am very afraid to start the process and be turned down. I would just feel like the worst person in the world!! Given everything I have disclosed, I am wondering what people think would happen. I don't know if it makes a difference, but we live in Michigan and our county is in DESPERATE need of good foster homes.
Please, no bashing.
The only thing on the list that would be a problem here is that you currently receive foodstamps. You need to be able to support your current family, because they don't want people relying on the per diem rate (and most places it doesn't even cover the child's expenses anyway). Kids are expensive, and as I said, in most places what they pay foster parents does not actually cover the child's expenses, so if you can't cover your expenses without a foster child in the home, you will certainly not be able to do so with a child. Not wanting to be discouraging, but I you may want to focus on finances first - figure out what you can change so that you will be able to support yourselves without state aid - and then look at fostering.
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I would say that although the finance issue could be a challenge, I don't think that it is a done deal. I would still say that if you would like to foster, you should still try. Just be upfront with your concerns so that you are not wasting all your time to be turned down later.
I think the food stamps will be a problem also. I also think money is a little too tight for you to be able to foster. You also have the issue that you receive food stamps and cash under the table that you do not report. Combine that together and I don't think it is possible. Get off the food stamps and it would be worth trying right now. You usually have to provide a budget to show you can meet your current needs. It doesn't have to be totally accurate but you need to be able to make it look realistic. I doubt you can come up with a budget that works without food stamps and your income. The good news is that Ltos if places are hiring Christmas help. You could probably both get part time jobs together and fix both problems by the end of the year.