How to find birth family? Private detective?

Your adoption "started" in Florida - so that's the state where you were born? But the adoption itself took place in NY State? Am I understanding that correctly? You're right about NY - they keep their records sealed tight. I was born and adopted in NY, myself. Sucks. Were you adopted through an agency? Through the state? Private adoption? If you were adopted through an agency, you could try contacting them to see if they can provide you with the non-identifying information that they have on file. That might help, a bit. You said you were born in '61 - is there any paperwork that your (adoptive) parents might have that might hold any clues? Sometimes a name or other detail that should have been blacked out isn't... Would you be able to take a look at what they have? If they're still living, could you possibly ask them - and get an honest response? Again, sometimes a detail would get slipped in somewhere, and they just might remember... Have you signed up for any mutual consent registries? The biggest one is the Soundex registry, found at isrr . org. NY State also has a mutual consent registry for adoptees/birth families. You can give that one a try as well. If a biological relative has signed up looking for you, the system will match you, and you (and they) will be notified of the match. Also, have you considered DNA testing? You have to hope that someone who's a fairly close relative has been bitten by the genealogy bug, but if you're really at wit's end, it can't hurt to try. (And it's cheaper than a PI/reunion company. Look into 23andme, Ancestry . com's DNA testing, and Family Tree DNA. I've seen those recommended by searching adoptees on this site and others.) Even if no match is made, you'll learn something about your own genetic makeup and ancestry information. There are adoption search companies out there, and PIs who will do adoption reunion work. But of course it's not cheap (at all), and you have to be careful - you definitely want to make sure the person you have searching for you is reputable and honest. I personally looked into Omnitrace, but wound up not going with them in the end, as I was able to find my birth mother with my own searching. There are other companies, of course, and PIs as well - but not all PIs will take on adoption reunion cases. (And not all should - those without much experience could well end up wasting time and money!) I hope you find a way!

Congrats on finding your birthmom! Yes. I was born in FL and the adoption began there but ended in NY State. It was done privately with lawyers I believe. My adoptive parents have both passed away. I have paperwork that tells me my birthmother's name was Dorothy Newman and that supposedly she was at least 21 and legally able to sign the paperwork. I've done Soundex. I've used a search angel. I used various sites to try to track Dorothy Newman and think I found her and her parents in the Miami area when she was a small child (through an old census) but that really didn't lead anywhere.

Hi Kathy. welcome to the Adoption Forum.In a recent post you indicated an interest in doing DNA to help with your search.There are 2 things I want to try to offer for your review.The 1st is that in the court records where your adoption was finalized, in all likelyhood, there is an Adoption Decree. This will contain the names of both bio-parents. But if the laws in that state are sealed, this may be classified as identifying and withheld.2nd, if you are considering DNA be prepared to wait a long time. You will be matched with all new entries coming into the data base. However, the matches that are close, may be only 5th cousins which represents roughly 125 years. Some people have done well thru DNA but the majority have had to have lots of patience.I wish you the best.

Hi Kathy. welcome to the Adoption Forum. In a recent post you indicated an interest in doing DNA to help with your search. There are 2 things I want to try to offer for your review. The 1st is that in the court records where your adoption was finalized, in all likelyhood, there is an Adoption Decree. This will contain the names of both bio-parents. But if the laws in that state are sealed, this may be classified as identifying and withheld. 2nd, if you are considering DNA be prepared to wait a long time. You will be matched with all new entries coming into the data base. However, the matches that are close, may be only 5th cousins which represents roughly 125 years. Some people have done well thru DNA but the majority have had to have lots of patience. I wish you the best.

Hi from another Kathy :) I've recently been successful in my search just knowing my birth mother's name-live in FL but born in RI in 1959--I used ancestry.com (their search tips were useful), obtained info on the relatives and found an obit for a sister that really opened doors via the mighty Google. Also was able to contact agency that handled adoption (my adoptive mom had told me) and they will send non-identifying. I found the "unwed mothers home" where my birth mom stayed and recently it was occupied by a non-profit assisting children of abuse- contacted them at their current address and was connected with a social worker who gave me more useful tips. Everyone has been so kind but remember, presentation is 99% ! Hope this helps and best wishes on your journey !

Kalenya - you've searched via ancestry.com already? It helps that you have a name. Unfortunately, "Newman" is hardly a unique name, and "Dorothy" wasn't exactly an unusual first name at the time, either. So it looks like you have an overabundance of possible leads. I've done a bit of poking around there on ancestry, and found a bunch of Dorothy Newmans listed on the 1940 US census, in Florida and otherwise. I found another on the Florida State census from the same year. You might want to look into DNA testing, as Drywall suggested. It isn't a guaranteed match, of course, but if someone's out there who's been tested, you're well on your way to making the connection. (I recently tested on 23andme.com and got nothing better than a 3rd-5th cousin match, but I'm re-testing at familytreedna and ancestry.com's DNA service, as well, because of the different pool of possible matches available at each one.) It isn't cheap, but it might be worth your while.You say yours was a private adoption. In NYS, I'm pretty sure an attorney's files cannot just be tossed away. So even if the attorney your parents used to adopt you is no longer practicing (or even alive), theoretically, his files have to be somewhere. If you can find out who he was, you could then potentially track down his files. There might be something in there that you could be allowed to see (some non-ID info, perhaps), that might help narrow down your pool of Dorothy Newmans....

Kalenya - you've searched via ancestry.com already? It helps that you have a name. Unfortunately, "Newman" is hardly a unique name, and "Dorothy" wasn't exactly an unusual first name at the time, either. So it looks like you have an overabundance of possible leads. I've done a bit of poking around there on ancestry, and found a bunch of Dorothy Newmans listed on the 1940 US census, in Florida and otherwise. I found another on the Florida State census from the same year. You might want to look into DNA testing, as Drywall suggested. It isn't a guaranteed match, of course, but if someone's out there who's been tested, you're well on your way to making the connection. (I recently tested on 23andme.com and got nothing better than a 3rd-5th cousin match, but I'm re-testing at familytreedna and ancestry.com's DNA service, as well, because of the different pool of possible matches available at each one.) It isn't cheap, but it might be worth your while. You say yours was a private adoption. In NYS, I'm pretty sure an attorney's files cannot just be tossed away. So even if the attorney your parents used to adopt you is no longer practicing (or even alive), theoretically, his files have to be somewhere. If you can find out who he was, you could then potentially track down his files. There might be something in there that you could be allowed to see (some non-ID info, perhaps), that might help narrow down your pool of Dorothy Newmans....

Good morning. Since you have a name of your birth mother, I would take the Ancestry DNA test. You will be matched with other Newmans, some of whom will have pedigrees (trees) of their relatives. You are way further along than the average closed era adoptee even having a name, so this is good.I have taken all 3 major DNA tests and have not had even one match to my birth name; however, I know many adoptees who have had numerous surname matches. You will focus on them and review their trees for clues to the branch you spring from. I have met amazing people through the DNA databases -- many who are no friends of mine. It's well worth the money and the prices have come down. Ancestry does not have DNA tools; however, their members have the most information on pedigrees. 23 and me has the highest amount of customers but many customers are confidential, and some don't write back. FTdna is another good one and the first one I took. I am still waiting for a match to my father's family. I already know my maternal side, but I would still highly recommend DNA testing as it provided me with my missing ethnicity.Good luck!!

Good morning. Since you have a name of your birth mother, I would take the Ancestry DNA test. You will be matched with other Newmans, some of whom will have pedigrees (trees) of their relatives. You are way further along than the average closed era adoptee even having a name, so this is good. I have taken all 3 major DNA tests and have not had even one match to my birth name; however, I know many adoptees who have had numerous surname matches. You will focus on them and review their trees for clues to the branch you spring from. I have met amazing people through the DNA databases -- many whom are now friends of mine. It's well worth the money and the prices have come down. Ancestry does not have DNA tools; however, their members have the most information on pedigrees. 23 and me has the highest number of customers but many customers are confidential, and some don't write back. FTdna is another good one and the first one I took. I am still waiting for a match to my father's family. I already know my maternal side, but I would still highly recommend DNA testing as it provided me with my missing ethnicity. Good luck!! :prop: :prop:

Hi, Do I understand correctly from what you're saying that Ancestry DNA will only give you matches that have your same surname? In other words, they'd keep other matches from you? Which test gives you all your matches?

This site can be useful: [url]https://familysearch.org/search/collection/list[/url]

I notice this thread is almost a year old, but there are no updates. Just in case the OP is still looking, I'll add that yes, I did use a private detective. I was born in 1962, so have the same issue with a closed adoption. The PI I used charges different amounts based on your particular case. Since you have a name already it would be less than what I paid with NO information. But to me it was worth every penny and then some. I don't regret it for a minute, it was the best money I ever spent to get closure on this lifelong yearning to find the truth. Good luck!

Kathy, I'd like to follow up on this, also. There are NY-state specific email networks to help adoptees and birth families find each other. I'm wondering if you have made contact with any of those people who can help you?