Longest time you had your newborn before RU or Adoption?

@HereWeGoAgain: Thank you very, very much for that info. What you said was right along the lines of what I was thinking. In the CW's defense, she actually DOES tell us every single thing she knows. Things that I'm not even sure she's supposed to tell us. It was just that she was telling me the information literally moments after learning it all herself, as this case has gone from being fast tracked due to abandonment with no contact at all, to suddenly and unexpectedly having contact with every single family member on the list within a 48 hour period. What a whirlwind... but like they say, anything can and does happen. I too think the answers I seek will come after sentencing, as well as after 1. finding out if the named father actually is the bio father, and 2. if he is, does he want the baby. The CW said she got the impression from him that he didn't want anything to do with her or this "supposed" baby, but if he's the father, any number of his family members can step up. I don't know how long she'll get, but I still question as to how they can let a woman do a one year (possibly less, possibly more) sentence and keep her child in foster care and THEN let her work towards RU. Now I'm wondering how long a bio parent can be in jail and then be given an opportunity to be reunified with their children...

We brought our girl home from the hospital as a newborn. Our roller coaster ride through the foster care system took 25 months before TPR occurred. Her BM was soooo close to RU. In the end she walked away. I will forever wonder why she did. Gosh, I love that girl to pieces.

1 year in the foster world is nothing if that is all she gets.

1 year in the foster world is nothing if that is all she gets.

I'm in NJ as well & we are in month 36-yes month 36-my FS came to us at 4 days old. This is neither bios 1st child -others have been adopted to family ( which we are not). We still have no end in sight although we do have court in July to start TPR-I am NOT holding my breath. Our bios too have been in & out of jail most recently for some pretty serious charges. Don't rely on the laws or how the process is "supposed to go"-love & care for this child to the best of your ability & hang on for the ride. God willing yours won't drag out like ours has...until the ink is dry on the adoption papers-ANYTHING is possible. GL

Understood, however with the 5 months so far that she's had no contact, then another year in jail, then another year given to the Bio mom to work towards RU, then possible extensions... just seems to be overkill as to how long they let this stuff go on for. What if Bio mom is in jail for 2 years? Do we care for this child until she's in pre-k??? If that's the case, then the system needs a major overhaul... Tam43 - I feel for you, I truly do. That is an unimaginable amount of time to care for a child that is in limbo. I'm praying yours gets TPR'd asap!

15 months and counting. TPR has been filed and should be heard next month. FWIW, around here visits are a no-go at jail unless it's an older child (as in teenager) and they request the visits.

FWIW-DCPP called me one time with a sibling group of 7-the oldest being 12 the youngest 10 months. Bio dad not in picture bio mom headed to jail for 4-5 years. They wanted us to care & love all of these children with the understanding that R/U would happen when she was released. We just couldn't do it. I truly am all for R/U when appropriate-I didn't know all the particulars of this case-I just knew We couldn't care for & love on all those kids for YEARS & then say goodbye....I just don't have that kind of strength & applaud anyone who does.....

Wow. At least they told you up front what the deal was. That's a lot of kids to try to place together. Some unscrupulous CWs would lie up a storm just to place together.

Our 2nd AS came to us at 4mos old due to bio's drug use and the fact he was nearly starved to death. They visited regularly in the beginning-first few months--then didn't visit but maybe once a month. They ended up voluntarily relinquishing rights before we got to TPR and was able to adopt after 18 mos of him being in care. Our current sibling set have been in care over 2 yrs now, TPR was granted a few months ago but bios are appealing so who knows how long before we can adopt them...just praying they don't win the appeal. They've been in and out of jail the entire time the kids have been in care (even a few weeks before the tpr trial arrested again for more charges, both in jail AGAIN yet appealing). Good luck!

Our 2nd AS came to us at 4mos old due to bio's drug use and the fact he was nearly starved to death. They visited regularly in the beginning-first few months--then didn't visit but maybe once a month. They ended up voluntarily relinquishing rights before we got to TPR and was able to adopt after 18 mos of him being in care. Our current sibling set have been in care over 2 yrs now, TPR was granted a few months ago but bios are appealing so who knows how long before we can adopt them...just praying they don't win the appeal. They've been in and out of jail the entire time the kids have been in care (even a few weeks before the tpr trial arrested again for more charges, both in jail AGAIN yet appealing). Good luck!

I'm from Los Angeles County but we picked up our son when he was 4 days old. Bio Mom had him from jail and went MIA. No Bio Dad named. She turned back up in jail again right before TPR (actually saw her in court). We just adopted him at 19 month mark. Hope that helps

We're at 20 months and counting. The goal has been changed to adoption but that's still not a sure thing. I realize the wheels of bureaucracy turn slowly but it's horrible to leave these kids in limbo for so long.

Sounds like you're in a state that puts bios' rights to parent above best interest of the child. :( I don't know of any cases in my area that went much past the year in care mark without RU, TPR or some other sort of permanency option. Known a couple of cases that bounced back and forth for years, but not consistently in care.

Well, if she can’t work her plan due to incarceration, then they have to give her the chance to do that when she’s out. Parents do have rights, regardless if they’re incarcerated or not, and thank God for that. It’s already too easy for CPS and the courts to terminate parental rights and sever ties between children and their birth families and it’s is not always in the child’s best interest. Sometimes, the agency just thinks the foster parents are better and that doesn’t matter. What matters is if the parents remedy the reasons that led the children into care in the first place. But anyways, it’s a good thing that they have to give her a chance. She’s still the child’s mother and they can’t just take her away without first giving her the opportunity to get her back. It’s nice when family can step in and care for the child in the meantime, though.