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AS is only two, but I worry about what his future holds. We are very lucky that he seems to have minimal issues as a result of his extreme drug exposure in utero, but I am having a hard time with the issues he does have and with waiting to see what will rear its ugly head later.
By most accounts, he is a "normal" two year old. But his foster mom cared for over 50 drug exposed infants in her time as a foster parent and even though her last one had CP and severe brain injury, she claims AS is the worst case she ever had. His withdrawal was harsh, and included 5 weeks in NICU on morphine and 24 hours a day screaming at times.
Now we are struggling with GI issues, impulse control, sleep issues, and some other things, but no one who meets him thinks there's anything "wrong" with him.
So I feel kind of silly at times when I worry about his stomach or get frustrated with his eating problems b/c they are so minor in comparison to what his foster siblings are dealing with.
I feel really alone. Parents with healthy kids don't get it, and parents we know who adopted their kids either claim their kids are healthy and just spirited or their problems are so much more obvious and severe that I feel like I have no right to complain.
And really, I'm not interested in complaining, but it's more like I don't have reason to worry when he could have it so much worse.
Does this make sense to anyone here or am I really crazy?
I have to say that a lot of my worry comes from a guy I know who was exposed to crack in utero. He was a bright happy kid with no problems til puberty hit and then he ended up in RTC with a suicide watch and a bipolar diagnosis. And then there are all the developmental specialists we see who say wait till he's older and things will come out.
So he's not really special needs, but he was and apparently will be again. How do you deal with that??
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Lovemy6, of course I know you're right. And yet it doesn't help me let things go. I'm struggling to resolve his GI issues. I'm short on sleep when he doesn't sleep. I know he needs his sleep if his brain is going to develop well and hopefully catch up to his age and stay there. I feel I am trying to plug up holes with bubble gum to stop a tidal wave. I'm trying to "fix" as much as I can so there won't be as much to deal with when whatever new issues come up.And every minute of the day he shows me his budding ADHD. I say hundreds of times a day, "watch where your body is going" b/c he never does and then it's a sob fest when he gets a bump. I'm supposed to watch every bite he takes to make sure he's not overstuffing his mouth. He doesn't stop when you tell him to, and when you do get through, he cries. Not for a few minutes, but for half an hour sometimes.And when it's doctor appointment time, there are so many of these little things that I don't remember them all, even though I've been keeping a running list. They come and go, and just when I think something has resolved itself, it comes back. It's like the tiny pieces of a really big puzzle but I don't have the box or even all the pieces.And when he's in a new situation, like an evaluation, he's so interested in everything that he's able to be calm and focused for the few minutes they spend with him, so then I feel like one of those moms who look for problems where there aren't any.So yeah, I was prepared for random problems and developmental issues, but I wasn't prepared for how crazy I would be.
Lovemy6, of course I know you're right. And yet it doesn't help me let things go.
I'm struggling to resolve his GI issues. I'm short on sleep when he doesn't sleep. I know he needs his sleep if his brain is going to develop well and hopefully catch up to his age and stay there. I feel I am trying to plug up holes with bubble gum to stop a tidal wave. I'm trying to "fix" as much as I can so there won't be as much to deal with when whatever new issues come up.
And every minute of the day he shows me his budding ADHD. I say hundreds of times a day, "watch where your body is going" b/c he never does and then it's a sob fest when he gets a bump. I'm supposed to watch every bite he takes to make sure he's not overstuffing his mouth. He doesn't stop when you tell him to, and when you do get through, he cries. Not for a few minutes, but for half an hour sometimes.
And when it's doctor appointment time, there are so many of these little things that I don't remember them all, even though I've been keeping a running list. They come and go, and just when I think something has resolved itself, it comes back. It's like the tiny pieces of a really big puzzle but I don't have the box or even all the pieces.
And when he's in a new situation, like an evaluation, he's so interested in everything that he's able to be calm and focused for the few minutes they spend with him, so then I feel like one of those moms who look for problems where there aren't any.
So yeah, I was prepared for random problems and developmental issues, but I wasn't prepared for how crazy I would be.
Mamakin, how old is your LO?
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