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We have been looking at hopeful adoptive daughter (ad) for almost 7 months now from a profile we found online. In may we got some information not all but some information on her,. She's 13 and we found out that she has been diagnosed with Bipolar....due to depression. Also in the past she has been very aggressive with foster families...she has had 14 placements.
We met her on 1.5 weeks ago during an adoption festival. The girl that we met did not show any signs of the information that we received on her actually total opposite. I thought i was going to be meeting this hurt damaged girl and she was strong, sweet, kind she articulated herself very well, she was mature...at first she was very guarded stayed with her social worker the whole time but as we kept coming around and asking her questions...she started to open up.
I wanna ask the seasoned foster or adoptive parents...what should i be looking for that will give me red flags about her.
Hubby and I had a good feeling about her in our gut. It felt so naturally us being around her and then when we had lunch with her, she opened up even more...other adoptive parents there even commented and said that we already looked like a family.
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Saw her profile on 12/1/2013:love:
Started orientation 1/2014
Licensed on 5/1/2014
Met her on 6/21/2014:woohoo:
Awaiting our pre-placement conference
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Not sure how I can help. My son moved in at fifteen and was adopted at sixteen. He probably had every "red flag" imaginable. Some were true, others not. I guess you should do your research, figure out your "deal breakers" and talk to everyone in her life; foster parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, CASA, GAL, and so on.I'm rooting for you - teens need homes too! While I wouldn't say we've had smooth sailing, I cannot imagine my life without my son.Best wishes on your journey.
Not sure how I can help. My son moved in at fifteen and was adopted at sixteen. He probably had every "red flag" imaginable. Some were true, others not. I guess you should do your research, figure out your "deal breakers" and talk to everyone in her life; foster parents, teachers, coaches, mentors, CASA, GAL, and so on.
I'm rooting for you - teens need homes too! While I wouldn't say we've had smooth sailing, I cannot imagine my life without my son.
Best wishes on your journey.
You will see the behaviors at some point. It's possible they'll show in a few weeks or a few months. They might pop up the first time you guys tell her no. Right now this is the honeymoon phase. The best thing you can do is come up with a game plan. Talk about your strategies for dealing with the behaviors and give her some tools for when she is feeling frustrated. You might write back and forth in a journal or she might have a code word that says she needs a break. You may not see "red flags" because she might be on her best behavior with you. However, decided now what you can and can't tolerate and line her up with counseling and family counseling for all of you.
You will see the behaviors at some point. It's possible they'll show in a few weeks or a few months. They might pop up the first time you guys tell her no. Right now this is the honeymoon phase.
The best thing you can do is come up with a game plan. Talk about your strategies for dealing with the behaviors and give her some tools for when she is feeling frustrated. You might write back and forth in a journal or she might have a code word that says she needs a break.
You may not see "red flags" because she might be on her best behavior with you. However, decided now what you can and can't tolerate and line her up with counseling and family counseling for all of you.
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