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Hi, I am the foster parent of a 15yr old girl. The plan so far is to return home. But, she does not want to?
We are doing 2 overnight visits on weekends.
But she texts she is unhappy, uncomfortable, mom is mean, has threatened to kill herself - yet the social worker continues to have her go.
The first time I called the social worker, after some discussion she stayed.
Does anyone have any hints, suggestions, anything to make it through this?
Thanks in advance.
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It's hard to tell from your post if she's trying to play you and her bio mom against each other, or if she really doesn't want to be there. My former teen FD told anyone who would listen about how horrible we were, including lies of behaviors and situations that never happened, and how much she hated us and wanted to leave and then when her behavior forced us to disrupt her, she was all mad that we "kicked her out for no reason" and that she didn't understand why because she loves us so much and wants to stay with us forever. How long has this child been in your house? Do you know yet what is real and what is an act with her? Foster teens can be really hard to figure out.
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We really like the girl. She is no trouble at our house, helps out, ect...no behavior problems what so ever. Gets good grades.
If she was playing anything it would be stay with us and not return home?
We are from totally different social classes - which is not bad, but I think this may hindering the returning home process.
It is so hard to keep up with the social workers.
I never have any idea what is going on.
My social worker says, she needs to return home and continue overnights. The girls social worker goes back and forth. The counselor one minutes says home and then nope not ready.
The mom changes appointments that I can't meet.
Now they are thinking of suspending overnights and family counseling.?
My definition of parenting is SO different from DFS. But I keep those feeling to myself.
This is just crazy. There is no structure to this system.
Oh and I don't know any of the acroynms.
Very frustrating.
How long has she been with you? Our former teen FD honeymooned for about 2 months with great behavior. In my state teens would have a choice to go back or not. Not sure about your state. My FS who is 9 even has a say in wanting to stay with us and his CW (caseworker) is listening to him. So, I guess it all depends on your state and worker. You'll get the hang of the acronyms in time. Is this your first placement?
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