Need some advice about 1st contact

First of all, I'm sorry that your birth mother is unwilling to have a relationship, or apparently to even tell her kept children that you exist. That's awful. You have every right to try to reach out to your siblings. As adults, they should have a chance to decide for themselves whether they'd like to get to know you. Their mother, your mother, should not be acting as a gatekeeper between you and the rest of your biological family. You'll likely get all sorts of responses here - some people have had luck using Facebook (though you apparently now have to pay to get your messages to someone not on your friends list), others recommend against it. I'm personally not a fan of using Facebook to reach out. While there are some people who live and breathe on FB, it's possible, if not likely, they've been told and just haven't publicized it there... But I'd personally look for another way to reach out to them. Do they have email addresses associated with their FB profiles? Could you find a "snail mail" address for either of them? Or even a phone number? Consider all ways of getting in touch before you choose one... When I searched, I discovered that my birth mother had passed away a few years before. I eventually decided to reach out to her sister... my aunt... I chose to do it by letter - because I felt like a letter was the best way to make contact. It was more personal than an email or a message on Facebook, but less "demanding" than a phone call. I could say my peace without interruption, and she could take some time to digest what I was saying before responding. For me, it worked. My aunt didn't know about me (though she'd suspected), so my letter was a surprise... but she did answer, and I've been in reunion with her, my grandmother, and my 3 (half) sisters for over a year now. Other people swear by reaching out via phone - the immediacy of the contact seems to be the big seller there. You know for sure if your "message" has been received because you're delivering it yourself, in real time. And others have mentioned luck on Facebook. To me, I guess I'm just old enough to find that a bit... I don't know if I have the right words for it... impersonal, I guess? (I'm in my later 30s, fwiw.) Email, and Facebook in particular, seem less personal than a handwritten letter. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned at heart. You have to do what you're most comfortable with, of course. And whichever way you choose, I wish you the best of luck. I hope your sisters receive your message with open hearts!

Thanks for your advice Emerald. I definitely have thought about and seen all angles of this situation, I have decided a private fb message is the way to go especially since that is the only information I have on them. I know what towns they live in, but nothing more than that because I don't have a last name.My plan is to send that private message, which will allow them to look at my profile. Once they do that there will be NO denying our relation because we look so much alike. When it comes to my biological mother, I feel nothing but sorrow for her. She never got over giving me up for adoption and she continues to allow her elderly parents hold the fact that she got pregnant at 15 over her head. A sad and pitiful situation. She has missed out on the opportunity to watch her first grandchildren grow up and one day she will regret her decisions and then I will have to think hard and long about whether I want her associated in my life. But we'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Right now I am focused on connecting with the younger of my two sisters. She's a mom of a toddler that looks just like my daughter when she was that age and she and I look like twins (other than our age difference). Based off the fb posts I've read from her, she's 'softer' than the older sister (she's still single and in 'party'mode).Again thank you for your input, I just need to bite the bullet write a well thought-out message and send it.

Thanks for your advice Emerald. I definitely have thought about and seen all angles of this situation, I have decided a private fb message is the way to go especially since that is the only information I have on them. I know what towns they live in, but nothing more than that because I don't have a last name. My plan is to send that private message, which will allow them to look at my profile. Once they do that there will be NO denying our relation because we look so much alike. When it comes to my biological mother, I feel nothing but sorrow for her. She never got over giving me up for adoption and she continues to allow her elderly parents hold the fact that she got pregnant at 15 over her head. A sad and pitiful situation. She has missed out on the opportunity to watch her first grandchildren grow up and one day she will regret her decisions and then I will have to think hard and long about whether I want her associated in my life. But we'll cross that bridge when I get to it. Right now I am focused on connecting with the younger of my two sisters. She's a mom of a toddler that looks just like my daughter when she was that age and she and I look like twins (other than our age difference). Based off the fb posts I've read from her, she's 'softer' than the older sister (she's still single and in 'party'mode). Again thank you for your input, I just need to bite the bullet write a well thought-out message and send it.

It's tough to find the right words to introduce yourself to your own family, isn't it?Good luck finding the right words. I hope they recognize what a great opportunity it is to get to know you, and enter reunion with open hearts. :)

It's tough to find the right words to introduce yourself to your own family, isn't it? Good luck finding the right words. I hope they recognize what a great opportunity it is to get to know you, and enter reunion with open hearts. :)