How can I commit without meeting the child?

In our state, Oregon, no parents are allowed to meet the child before they decide to adopt. I think it's crazy. They do it so the child doesn't end up meeting a lot of people and it not working out. But I think they have to have more adoption disruptions when people don't really know what they are getting into.

You're right, I totally get that. It would be really traumatic and degrading to have to be "interviewed" by a bunch of people, then picked or passed over. And it's not like you'll know how a kid will be living in your home just by meeting him. I just don't know how to make such a fast decision based on a few pages of information. Having a day to decide, then a week until move in seems way too fast for foster-to-adopt, but am I being unrealistic? In this case, we did decide in this case that the logistics won't work without being too chaotic for an already traumatized kid (out of town visitors, work and travel commitments, no flexibility in the timing) and turned it down.

You're right, I totally get that. It would be really traumatic and degrading to have to be "interviewed" by a bunch of people, then picked or passed over. And it's not like you'll know how a kid will be living in your home just by meeting him. I just don't know how to make such a fast decision based on a few pages of information. Having a day to decide, then a week until move in seems way too fast for foster-to-adopt, but am I being unrealistic? In this case, we did decide in this case that the logistics won't work without being too chaotic for an already traumatized kid (out of town visitors, work and travel commitments, no flexibility in the timing) and turned it down.

I was wondering the same thing myself. We are new at the whole thing, we've only fostered once for 2 weeks, we have no children of our own but we want to adopt a child. yes, we are a bit crazy. I have looked on the internet for children close to my region. We've even went to a pre-adoption interview (no success but lots of valuable resources). As I ask about these children and get referrals one things that peeves me off is this which I see more often than not; Why do these 'agencies' even DFS want to find a placement for a child who is in residental custody for a year or more and put them straight into an adoptive environment? It makes no sense to me it seems like a great risk on the adoptive parents and even the child...just an observation. I just don't know. We are looking to adopt a boy aged 4-12 years old. Where we are it has slowed down on fostering, and we only have one bed so that puts us at a disadvantage, however that is all we can handle/afford at the moment. Any advice/comments welcome!

I was wondering the same thing myself. We are new at the whole thing, we've only fostered once for 2 weeks, we have no children of our own but we want to adopt a child. yes, we are a bit crazy. I have looked on the internet for children close to my region. We've even went to a pre-adoption interview (no success but lots of valuable resources). As I ask about these children and get referrals one things that peeves me off is this which I see more often than not; Why do these 'agencies' even DFS want to find a placement for a child who is in residental custody for a year or more and put them straight into an adoptive environment? It makes no sense to me it seems like a great risk on the adoptive parents and even the child...just an observation. I just don't know. We are looking to adopt a boy aged 4-12 years old. Where we are it has slowed down on fostering, and we only have one bed so that puts us at a disadvantage, however that is all we can handle/afford at the moment. Any advice/comments welcome!

Here we have to foster for six months before we can finalize. If it doesn't work out, you don't -have- to adopt. Of course, we also get to meet kids beforehand and there is -usually- some sort of transition. Typically, we have to decide whether we want to go forward with the placement after disclosure and a short meeting with the child.