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Hello everyone,
I'm new in the forum and me and my husband are really thinking about adoption. We have some "problems" though...
First of all we are a military family, we are currently stationed in Texas but we should move in a couple years. Is it possible to adopt even moving so often? Do we have enough time?
We are also not that sure if we are comfortable with an open adoption, so we were looking for an international adoption. But are have been married for 2 years now and some countries want you to be married for 5, and I'm 28 and some countries want you to be 30.
Being 28 I also feel too young to adopt an older child... Here in the US is probably a regular age to have older children, but I'm from Europe and most of my friends are not even married yet so I'd feel more comfortable having a younger child (we are ok if the child is less than 4 more or less...).
For all these reasons we were thinking about Ethiopia but I read it's slowing down a lot and many agencies in the area don't even accept applications anymore...
Anyone in our situation?
Last question: how can I know that an agency is reliable? I found one I'm interested in, I found some reviews online, some are really good but some are a disaster....
Thank you everyone! And sorry for this way too long post
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I urge you to learn more about open adoption. What makes you uncomfortable about it? No matter what, your child will have two sets of parents. With open adoption, you know them, or at least the biological (aka birth, or first) mother. We are fortunate to have relationships with my son's birthmother and her family, and with my daughter's birthmother and birthfather. My son is now 8-1/2, and having access to all kinds of information, including medical and dental information, has been incredibly useful.
Children adopted internationally have birth parents too.
[url=http://chittisterchildren.wordpress.com/2013/01/30/children-adopted-internationally-do-have-birth-parents/]Children Adopted Internationally Do Have Birth Parents | Holding to the Ground[/url]
Ethiopia has slowed down because several agencies were paying Ethiopian parents for their children, then lying about those children being orphans. Many countries are having ethics issues, leading to slow downs or complete shut downs.
Of course, there are ethical concerns in private domestic adoption as well.
I suggest looking at the Creating a Family web site, which has great information about selecting a country, program, and agency.
Good luck on your adoption journey!
:hippie:
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Thank you for your answer.We are a little bit worried about the birthparents eventually interfere too much in our life... We are more than ok about our future child to know that s/he's been adopted and even that his/her birthparents loved s/he so much to make such an hard decision, but we don't want birthparents to be involved in our lives... We can even let them know their child is fine, but we don't want them to know our surnames, where we live, stuff like that... About international adoption, for now Ethiopia would be the only option suitable for us that agencies in our area offer (considering we are ok with an infant or a toddler, not with older children or special needs children...) otherwise we would have to wait for me to be 30 years old.
Thank you for your answer.
We are a little bit worried about the birthparents eventually interfere too much in our life... We are more than ok about our future child to know that s/he's been adopted and even that his/her birthparents loved s/he so much to make such an hard decision, but we don't want birthparents to be involved in our lives... We can even let them know their child is fine, but we don't want them to know our surnames, where we live, stuff like that...
About international adoption, for now Ethiopia would be the only option suitable for us that agencies in our area offer (considering we are ok with an infant or a toddler, not with older children or special needs children...) otherwise we would have to wait for me to be 30 years old.