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I'm new here, a female in my 30s thinking of becoming a foster parent. Somehow I feel like I should do it and am very much drawn to the idea. However, I also have a number of concerns that make me wonder if I would make a good foster parent at all. I will appreciate any thoughts and comments regarding my situation. Please be honest.
Some strengths: I have a stable job with good salary. I live on a few acres with pets and livestock, which should be a therapeutic environment for many kids. I'm patient and kids usually seem to like me. I would foster genuinely for the good of the kids and society and would give it my best effort. Adoption would be a possibility, but is not my main motivation. I'm involved in church and would like to get the kids involved as well and have some support in church. I'm also a medical professional and could take kids with medical issues.
Some weaknesses: I live by myself and would continue working fulltime and cacall in a lot. I don't have any family closeby and my main support network is through church. I was thinking of contacting some church friends and baby sitters to have on standby in case of emergency or sick kids when I'm at work. I don't have kids of my own and really don't have much experience with kids. Also, since I live alone I'm not in the habit of cooking regular meals, keeping the house meticulously clean, celebrating holidays, and such things that I associate with family life. This clearly would need work to provide a structured home. I'm also very much an introvert and wonder if the constant parenting demands would stress me out.
What do you think are my chances of becoming a decent foster parent?
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Oh, parenting will stress you out for sure. Haha! Its that way for all parents at times :)
There is a single lady in my church that has fostered for many years, up to five kids at a time, and has generally loved it and done an excellent job. It sounds like you have thought a lot about this, have you attended an orientation meeting yet? It may be helpful to try and connect with other foster parents in your area to see how things work in your county.
It is a big decision and does require a lot of time and energy, but most good things take hard work and you sound very capable.
Thanks, Southern Lady, for the hopeful response. No, I haven't attended an orientation meeting yet, but want to do so at the next opportunity (I'm in a veru rural area where these meetings seem pretty spread out). I also plan to talk to lady from church probably next week who used to foster kids years ago. Funny that you would say I sound like I thought about it a lot It's actually still a pretty new thought to me, but since I first seriously considered it I can't seem to think of much else lately. I definitely don't expect it to be easy I probably would startvwith one child and take a maximum of around 3 if all goes well with the one.
Thanks, Southern Lady, for the hopeful response. No, I haven't attended an orientation meeting yet, but want to do so at the next opportunity (I'm in a veru rural area where these meetings seem pretty spread out). I also plan to talk to lady from church probably next week who used to foster kids years ago.
Funny that you would say I sound like I thought about it a lot
It's actually still a pretty new thought to me, but since I first seriously considered it I can't seem to think of much else lately. I definitely don't expect it to be easy
I probably would startvwith one child and take a maximum of around 3 if all goes well with the one.
I'm single; I have one son (private adoption) and am a foster mom (no placement right now). I'm also an introvert, and I work in mental health, so ditto for the not being able to call in. Until my son was almost two I had a job that had irregular hours, plus I was on call. Having a job with regular hours is more important, I have found, than being able to call in much (don't actually know any jobs that wouldn't get annoyed if it was happening often). Parenting is stressful, especially as a single parent. Yes, getting your home and daily life more structured will be really helpful to kids, but it will also be helpful to you, because it will take some of the stress out of your day when you know what is happening when you get home. Good support is really important - I think it's a great idea to reach out to folks in your community (friends, church, coworkers, whatever) who are supportive. I've found other foster parents to be great supports as well. One thing that you may need to plan for is having people approved to care for your child. Different areas have different rules, but in some anyone who cares for your child, even occasionally, has to have a background check, so you would want to have that done before the need arose.
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I'm single; I have one son (private adoption) and am a foster mom (no placement right now). I'm also an introvert, and I work in mental health, so ditto for the not being able to call in. Until my son was almost two I had a job that had irregular hours, plus I was on call. Having a job with regular hours is more important, I have found, than being able to call in much (don't actually know any jobs that wouldn't get annoyed if it was happening often).
Parenting is stressful, especially as a single parent. Yes, getting your home and daily life more structured will be really helpful to kids, but it will also be helpful to you, because it will take some of the stress out of your day when you know what is happening when you get home. Good support is really important - I think it's a great idea to reach out to folks in your community (friends, church, coworkers, whatever) who are supportive. I've found other foster parents to be great supports as well. One thing that you may need to plan for is having people approved to care for your child. Different areas have different rules, but in some anyone who cares for your child, even occasionally, has to have a background check, so you would want to have that done before the need arose.
I am a single mom who started fostering at age 21... That was 8 years ago..
Now I have a single mom to SEVEN kids.. ages 4, 5, 6, 11, 13, 14, 16. (3 adopted 4, 5, 13) (4 fosters 6, 11, 13, 16) (plus in process of adopting a 12 yr old girl)...
It is wonderful but can be very stressful. I started at one kid..then two..then 4... then well I dont know what happened to be honest.