Looking for my biological parent

I'm George Yap and I'm from the Philippines. Actually before I don't really care and hoping if I will find my biological parent. Maybe I'm just desperate right now and just thinking if my biological parents are rich enough so I can borrow some money to them so I can help my adoptive mother. I was raised by a single mom. She was already in her 50's when she adopted me. Actually I never told my story to anyone one, this is my first time to share it. Sorry for my english is not that polished. She never told me that I was adopted and whom my real parents are. When I was a child my mom told me that my father was a seaman and died of heart attack. I never really ask her about it cause I don't want to break her heart because though I can say that my attitude to being ******** as a son. Luckily I got a supportive auntie, I call her Aunt even though she is really cousin. Her mother is my mom's older sister. Without her, I wouldn't finished my degree. At 33, I still don't have my own family because I dedicated my life in looking after my mom. Sometimes I'm really sad maybe always. I'm not sure because I just keep on doing things just to entertain myself. And the other reason they don't want me to get married at a young age cause they also didn't I outcast and distanced myself because I look down on myself. I was adopted by a Chinese by the way and I have a brown complexion so obviously you won't be surprised that I am adopted. I know that my mom love me but I don't know how to express it also because I never really experience what a true love is as a family. I know that I have anxiety and so paranoid. I committed many mistakes in my life. One of them is being lucky go lucky, I resigned from my job and now I have a difficulty in finding a new one. If I didn't resigned and save some money maybe I won't be too desperate and in despair liks this. I worked in a BPO before and good at it but I committed a mistake which is not really that grave that's another story though. Maybe I should write a blog about my life but it doesn't have a good turn around yet so I can sell it to a publishing company or tv so I can help with my moms expenses. Sometimes I blame God, but I'm too afraid to keep on blaming him cause I'm afraid he will curse me more and make my life more difficult. I day dream most of the day telling myself if only I could turn back time I will. Some say that writting about it will make you feel my lighter, I guess it's not true. I guess other people will say if they have my life they'll just end it. I can't, I can't leave my mom like that. Well that already too many about me. The only information I can give is that my supposedly birthplace is Grace Park, Caloocan and my birthdate is August 16, 1981. PS: Don't repost this to other websites. Thanks