Does reunion + understanding bring true healing?

Hello, This may be a bit long but it's going somewhere. I hope someone out there can answer this question for me, because these are hard times in my life. I'm an adult adoptee who met my birth mother about 7 years ago. I'm 32 now. Over the past couple years, I've come to recognize and accept that I have significant problems stemming from my adoption. The usual - attachment problems, anxiety, paranoia, depression, feeling like I don't belong anywhere, etc. The more I realized how deep these problems go and just how much I repressed my grief and pain throughout life, the more discouraged I became. Lately I've been wondering - will I ever be normal? Will I ever really be able to love or trust? It still feels awkward to tell anyone I love them. Will I pass these problems on to my children (if I can ever manage to stay in a relationship or have any)? I do believe that being in reunion with my bmother (who was always very welcoming) and her two other children, both younger, has been healing. Initially the reunion with my birth mother went well, but there was distance. I was glad to meet her and know who she was, but we kept emotional distance. We discussed my birth father but there was so little information she could give me, it seemed impossible to find him and I did not locate him until very recently. My bmother and I had a cordial relationship but like I said, not too open. We never really got into the guts of my adoption story, or went beyond the basic narrative of "I was young and single and had no support." During this time, I never met my maternal aunt and uncle - and I only met my maternal bio grandfather last year. Starting around the time I met my bmom's father, I began to understand her better. I realized the dynamics of her family, and how she was kind of the outcast with low self-esteem all throughout life. Her mother was abusive, and her father doesn't seem to truly love anyone other than himself. So as I got more "layers" to her story, both from hearing unknown stories from her past and from getting to know her father, I really began to understand her. This is over the last few months. So over this time, we have opened up a lot and gotten closer. I found my bfather and she confirmed it was him. She opened up to me more than ever and we had some pretty intense conversations. I could clearly see that she suffered a lot of guilt over giving me up, and had true regret. It made me feel loved and I don't doubt that she truly does love me. So I think that has been a very good thing for me. Now I have made contact with my bfather, which isn't going so well. I do have some signs that eventually he may come around though and open up to me. Now to my question - I've read so many comments, threads, blog posts, etc. about the suffering of adult adoptees and all the severe lifelong problems from it. I understand and relate. Can reunion truly heal you? Obviously nothing is instant. But if you work at it honestly, can it make the darkness go away? Does life get better after reunion? I do believe I'm "better" now that I've grown closer to my bmother and at least identified and contacted my bfather (the mystery is the worst part!). But, I still do not feel completely whole, especially with my bfather not seeming to want anything to do with me. I have so much family on his side, I look like all of them, I look exactly like him, I act like him, I want to know him. I'm hoping that will finally fill the void that I have had all my life, despite how much I was loved by my aparents. I have spent thousands on therapy, and we never even talked about my adoption. What a waste. If anyone has been where I am and come out on the other side, I would love to hear your experiences.