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I'm not sure best forum to ask this in but wanted to try here. I'm an adoptee looking for thoughts from a birth mom. I was given up for adoption in the 70's and my birth cert has my biological mothers maiden last name as she was not married at the time. I found out she had a daughter before me who has her married last name even though she was not married when she gave birth to her first. Is it common for birth mom to give child her last name whether she is married or not? Thanks!
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I'm am not a birth mom but recently overheard something while working on a potential adoption that might be able to shed a little bit of light on what you are asking. We were working on a potential placement and I overheard the lawyers discussing the baby's name. The parents are not married and the dad was unable to be at the hospital for the birth. The mom originally gave the baby the last name of the father but apparently, it had to be changed to the mom's last name because he wasn't at the hospital. I believe different states have different laws on the last name that babies are given. I didn't even realize this was a law in our state but I'm assuming it is after the discussion I heard. Is it possible that something like that might have happened? Maybe your birth mom didn't necessarily choose to give you her last name, but rather didn't have a choice? Hope this helps! :)
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Hi Red Sox, I don't know if from your name you are in MA, but I am and my DH and kids were adopted in MA. As I understand it, the law is that the mother's name at the time of delivery will appear on the birth certificate (her married name if she is married). If she is married, the husband is listed as the "father" on the birth certificate. If the mother is unmarried, I believe the biological father has to sign an "affidavit of paternity" to be listed on the certificate. When my Dh finally got his original birth certificate, unfortunately the name for "father" was left blank (and although he has found his bmom, she won't say who the father is so he may never know unfortunately). Good luck!
Do you have information about your birth father? Is it possible he was unware? I agree it might be state law - here in MO my foster son has his father's last name even though his father is not listed on the birth certificate. Here you can give a child any name you want - even if there is no connection to you (for example you could name your son Johnny Appleseed - even if no one connected has the last name Appleseed). Also - do you know if your birth mother's first daughter has the same father as you? If she first gave birth to a daughter, then gave birth to you - it's possible she might have gotten married much later and her new husband adopted the daughter (giving the daughter the mom's *married* name).
Thank you all for the replies and perspective! bamabelle1982 - yeah, I don't believe my father was present so could see how I could have got my birthmom name... loveajax - yes, from MA (how'd you guess :>). she was not married at the time BUT was to be married a few months later per the notes I got from Catholic Charities. Perhaps since he wasn't around is why I got her name.. MissouriFosterMom2be - I'm not sure about daughter but I *think* we have same father not sure... I'm early in my search but hope to make contact with my sister as my birthmom has since passed. Thanks again!