Just put baby girl up for adoption. Really struggling.

hello brittlee-- I have never been in your position but I just wanted to acknowledge your grief. I can't imagine the heartbreak. There are many other members here who are also birthmoms and hopefully they can connect with you on this thread. This forum is a safe place to vent and get whatever feelings out you need to and hopefully you will be comfortable enough to do so.

I do understand what you are going through although I was coerced into surrendering. The pain has never gone away and I simply learned to live with the pain.

Hi brittlee,I understand what you are going through because after 36 years after my son being adopted I still feel that pain. The pain does not go away, but it can be stufted into your subconscious waiting to come out. My advice is if you go through with the adoption, then go seek counseling because it is better to deal with your greif now then to shove it way down deep into your subconscious. I recently reunited with my son and the first thing I thought was I wish I never put him up for adoption because I would have rather struggle with a baby when I was a teenager then to see him at 36 and realized that you missed out on all those years together. I love him more today than the day he was born. My love for him grew over the years because you will think about your child every day of his or her life. Please think of your child.

Hi brittlee, I understand what you are going through because after 36 years after my son being adopted I still feel that pain. The pain does not go away, but it can be stufted into your subconscious waiting to come out. My advice is if you go through with the adoption, then go seek counseling because it is better to deal with your greif now then to shove it way down deep into your subconscious. I recently reunited with my son and the first thing I thought was I wish I never put him up for adoption because I would have rather struggle with a baby when I was a teenager then to see him at 36 and realized that you missed out on all those years together. I love him more today than the day he was born. My love for him grew over the years because you will think about your child every day of his or her life. Please think of your child.

I am so sorry for your grief. I relinquished my baby 36 yrs ago and am sure I have never truly healed. Oh how I wished I had the chance to talk to other birthmums before the adoption. Many times on these forums it has been written " adoption is a permanent solution for a temporary problem" and it is so true, there is no going back. It can only be your decision...but my advice would be to try and find away to let your baby keep her mum!

Hi Brittlee, Welcome to the forums. I am so sorry for what you are going through. If you have not finalized yet, there is still time to think about this decision (which you are surely doing constantly). I would definitely try to get in touch with more who have been in your shoes before and look at all of your options, so you have peace in whatever decision you make. All the best to you! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. -Spud :Chewie: