How the tables have turned....

Welcome back - I hope you post what you did when you had to face any challenges inherent in created a new reality. Kind regards, Dickons

Honestly, all we did was stick it out. We communicated, we shared and we all kept our commitment to our children in the forefront of our mind. Walking away was NOT an option. Also, I think getting to know each other on a different level - not relating to the adoption that brought us together - solidified our relationship. We value each other as people as well as members of the triad. And fortunately for us, we also "like" each other.

Honestly, all we did was stick it out. We communicated, we shared and we all kept our commitment to our children in the forefront of our mind. Walking away was NOT an option. Also, I think getting to know each other on a different level - not relating to the adoption that brought us together - solidified our relationship. We value each other as people as well as members of the triad. And fortunately for us, we also "like" each other.

Why do you say "like" with quotation marks. Why are birth parents and adoptive on separate teams, like two ex girlfriends of the same guy? I just don't get it? Why the catty behavior? Isn't the whole point of a child to love them and be thankful to the woman who grew it inside her? I really hate how adoptive parents suddenly think the natural parents can F off. How rude and cruel. And I know thats not your way of thinking, but with the catty "me against them" thing you can assume that much. It's disgusted how children are taken and bonds are broken just because some women can't reproduce. Adoptive parents should show love and support for the mother that has to give up HER kids so you can have a chance at yours. Makes me sick. I will NEVER give up my child.

I used the quotation marks because it is sometimes difficult to express what you are trying to say in type. I was expressing that aside from the adoption that brought us together, we genuinely like - meaning we enjoy each others company - and care for one another. That makes us stronger than any legal document binding us to each other for 18 years of obligation. We are a family . THAT was the whole point. The exact opposite of your "me against them" scenario. My children were not TAKEN. Their birthmother did not HAVE TO give up her kids so that I could have them. I was hoping to adopt. She CHOSE not to parent - TWICE. And we DO love and support her, as she does us. Our open adoption works for our family, because we are a family. Whatever your agenda was by trying to provoke me, it sure didn't work.

Not trying to provoke. Just a little confused by all this. Can we both agree that every mother that gives birth grieves for her child? Honestly don't you think it's a little crazy that as soon as a piece of paper is signed, the birth mom has no rights? Many mothers that give their children up are usually vulnerable (I'm talking bad cases). Drugs, poor, too young. I'm sure there have been many sad cases where the mothers were at a weak point and gave their babies up....and then fell into a hell on earth. Theres been many forums about it. I'm sorry this isn't a comment to your personal story. I just find the whole ordeal super scary. All these adoptive parents somehow fall in love like a spell is on them with a kid thats not theres? It even takes real birth parents a long time to adjust. Is it OP's need to just be a parent that makes them obsess with the kids like that? I see many are possessive right away. That pisses my maternal instincts off, because that is a terrible form of distress on the birth mother. I feel like she should have longer than 10 days. Has there been more regulation of law or is his system still a little corrupt? Why did your childs Birth Mom give him/her up

So awesome!!! I hope one day that will be my story!!

I love hearing this! I just joined this site & need some advice. I tried to post a question but it never went through. I'm not sure how to do it, but I really need advice about visits with our daughter's birth mom.

Attitudes like this by biological mothers are equally as bothersome. How is the kid not theirs? It is! They have chosen to raise children. Those children become theirs the moment they bring them home. And just because a woman does not birth a child does not mean she doesn't also have motherly instincts. The possessiveness likely comes from the difficulties involved in finally being adopt a child. It's a long process filled with heartbreak, including the heartbreak of not being able to conceive naturally. There is an instinctual fear that the adoption will fall apart or their baby will be taken from them. Try having a little compassion and seeing things from their perspective. Save the venom for the ones who truly deserve it by treating their adopted children or their biological families like garbage for no good reason.