Foster parents (with a twist) trying to out-meneuver paternal family-NEEDING A MIRACLE!

KG was abandoned at the baby sitters for 2 weeks by her drug-addicted mother at 5 months old. When the babysitter contacted us, paternal family, we notified DHS in Iowa as we live 20 minutes away in MO (Great Aunt to KG) & 45 minutes away in IL (1st cousin to KG). We, at the time, thought this would be "the best legal thing" to do. After learning she had been officially taken into DHS custody, we (2 sets of first cousins & 1 great aunt/uncle collectively) immediately made contact as potential placement options for her & home studies through ICPC were subsequently ordered & passed (now multiple times) with flying colors within a few months. We were told by the case worker that KG would be placed with one of us on successful completion of the home studies. In the mean time, we attended the first court hearing where we met the foster parents (FP). FP mother was known by me as she baby sat me as a child. She shared her resounding disappointment that family was involved due to there expectation that they would get to adopt KG as reunification efforts with the parents were not projected to be successful. The father, our cousin, was unfortunately uninvolved in her life & the mother had openly protested her belief that government had no right to tell her what she could or couldn't put in to her body as long as she didn't put it in KG's. FP mom reported developmental delays due to malnutrition & neglect, but that her pediatrician was optimistic for her recovery. She further shared that she & FP dad had suffered multiple miscarriages & we no longer able to have children. She said that adoption was to lengthy of a process so they had entered into foster care to adopt a family of their own. She also stated they were Christian & above all else had to be sure we were also Christian as KG's soul was the most important to them. We were then invited to meet FP dad at their home with the case worker's consent. This would be our first meeting with KG as we were supposed to be introduced at a family gathering over Christmas, but KG was taken into custody a few weeks before. The meeting with KG & FP started out well. KG took to us without missing a beat & our hearts melted over hers. A lengthy discussion ensued ranging from our shared Christian faith to our future plans to move to mid-MO for better job opportunities. We also discussed that we ironically knew the current case worker's husband as a classmate in high school. FP mom again expressed disappointment in our involvement. At this point, we made it very clear that we intended to pursue kinship placement of KG until reunification efforts were exhausted. If this was unsuccessful, we were willing to open our home permanently to her & take her as our own. The room then became VERY cold with little conversation & the meeting was very quickly ended after KG fell asleep in my husband's arms. We attempted to set up subsequent visits with KG through Facebook, but heard nothing for 4 weeks. Finally FP mom replied stating they were no longer allowed to set up visits with us per notification of the newly assigned case worker. We immediately attempted contact with the new case worker for several months without a response. In the mean time, all 3 of our home studies were approved through ICPC, which again, went without response. We had an upcoming hearing that would declare KG a CINA case. This prompted us to write to the head of DHS in Iowa & to the court judge for Lee County. Finally, 2 weeks before the court hearing, we got a response and was contacted by both the DHS case worker & her supervisor. We were told the case had been reassigned due to us "having a relationship" with the first case worker. The case worker couldn't figure out how we were related to KG. What?? This was 6 months into the case AND after she had received approved home studies on us all. Some clarification was given regarding why we were all petitioning for her placement. The family had all agreed that my husband & I would be the most suited due to our age & already having to young children at home; 1 being only 3 months older than KG. The other 2 were back up options for KG's best interest in the event something did not go well with the home study. At that time, she again stated that KG would be placed with us soon & agreed that my husband & I would be the most suitable. A short time later, we were contacted by the case worker again. She denied us visitation & placement as she stated we couldn't prove that we were family as there was no father listed on the birth certificate. This had not yet been questioned until this conversation. The father had been openly recognized as the father in the first court hearing & was listed as a "no-show". The mother had also stated who the father was in court. Not one person had said anything regarding questioned paternity until that moment. KG was declared a CINA case & the court ordered DNA testing to be completed to determine paternity & prove us as relatives. After hearing nothing for several more weeks, we finally heard back from the case worker again stating that we were "dead in the water" due to her inability to get in contact with KG's biological father. We then questioned why shy had not contacted us regarding this as this is not a difficult thing for us to do. We made contact with him within 20 minutes & he called us that evening were we had a lengthy discussion regarding KG. He stated at that time he did not wish to be involved due to not wanting to pay child support. We assured him we were not intending to pursue child support, but that we were wanting to have her placed with family so she could maintain her roots & heritage. He agreed to be tested with this information. The case worker was notified & given contact information, but she setup the DNA testing to be completed in his area at the Child Support Enforcement Agency. He then did not show up for the appointment. The case worker then abandoned all efforts to pursue any further testing. We spent the next few weeks making contact with both the approved testing agency and, at the advice of said agency, 2 parents of KG's other known siblings that continued contact with paternal relatives. They agreed to be tested, but the case worker fought us at every turn stating that it would not be admissible in court. Finally after MANY emails & phone conversations, they agreed to test KG's half brother which was a match & proved paternity at 99%. The court did subsequently accept this. This was 9 months after WE called DHS & initiated the inception of the case. During this time, I was offered a better position in mid-MO. We immediately contacted the case worker prior to accepting this position, to determine the best interest of KG & future kinship placement. She congratulated us & told us to take the job. She assured us it would have no impact on KG's placement & that she would still be placed with us after establishing paternity. So we took the job. After paternity confirmation, we were granted 1 supervised visit per week for 1 hour to take place in the FP's home only even though we had passed all home studies. We then requested a family team building meeting which was granted in order to begin discussions for KG's transition into our home. It was rescheduled multiple times which was allegedly due to the need for the GAL mother's lawyer's required presence. We were not sure why. The only date offered in the end, was a date we could not attend so had to attend by phone conference. My sister-in-law, also a petitioner in the case, was able to make arrangement to attend from Chicago in our absence. This meeting was very poorly run & no lawyers/GAL were present. The case worker & her supervisor were in attendance as well as the FPs. We inquired about KG's reunification efforts. We were told that even though we were once granted this information, that right had been revoked. They would not give a reason why. We then inquired about KG's health status with her known developmental delays & was originally told we were not privy to this information either. The case worker stated this was due to not having the mother's permission to discuss this. Then the caseworker & supervisor began to argue over whether this was needed or not since she was in custody of the state. Ultimately, the supervisor ended up signing paperwork allowing us to proceed with this line of questioning. We learned that she was progressively overcoming her delays one by one, but there were still remaining concerns. We then began the conversation for transition into our home. We were then told that we were no longer being considered for placement because the state didn't consider us actually relatives despite the DNA results. They said they considered us to be second cousins to KG since we were first cousins to her father. They stated this puts as relatives in the 4th degree & that we were required to be within the third degree for placement. This puts in relation to the third degree. Regardless, they were not even considering placement with KG's great aunt who was also a petitioner in the case. They have yet to produce a reason as to why this has not also been considered. Remarkable, the floor was then given to the FP dad. He began to ridicule & chastise the family stating that we were not at all concerned about KG's best interest. They belittled us about being inconsiderate to KG's ongoing reunification efforts with her mother & accused us of only being concerned about adoption of KG for ourselves. We argued that we had asked multiple times about how reunification efforts were going & have been shut out of the portion of the case. We were no longer ALLOWED to know that information. This went on for several minutes without intervention by the case worker or her supervisor. By the time the meeting ended, we knew we needed a lawyer & had one hired within days. We then requested a second meeting to discuss KG's placement & notified them we would be bringing our lawyer. This time the mothers attorney was present & the GAL by telephone. Our lawyer updated them that we were not second cousins, but first cousins once removed according to the Iowa consanguinity chart. They stood their ground stating we were not good candidates for KG's placement for multiple reasons. They stated that my husband & I's distance of 2.5 hrs was to far for reunification efforts. We argued we had discussed this point with the case worker prior to taking the job & she specifically encouraged us to make the move & stated KG would be placed with us after paternity confirmation regardless. This again did not address the issue of KG's great aunt, who was present at this meeting as well & a petitioner in the case, was only 20 minutes away in Missouri. The then stated that KG had to many medical concerns to be removed from the FP home because they knew her best. We argued that I am an Emergency Room RN with specialized certifications in trauma & pediatrics. My husband is also guardian for his mentally handicapped brother & limited conservator for his disabled father. His sister, also a petitioner & present, has a degree in social work & child psychiatry & is well versed in working with DHS. Between the 3 of us, we had more experience for any & all of KG's needs than anyone else in that room including the foster parents. That's when they dropped the bombshell on us. They informed us that KG had other interested in family that was familiar to her & in the community who was more suited for her placement & interested in her adoption if reunification efforts failed. We had to ask who they were 3 times before they would tell us. They simply stated "her maternal grandparents". This was a surprise to us since KG's mother aged out of the system herself & her biological family had already been contacted by DHS without interest. (They did not contact ANYONE on the paternal side by the way. We initiated & pursued ALL contact.) So we asked "who" they were. That's when they told us the FP's had adopted KG's adult mother & were now be considered KG's ADOPTIVE GRANDPARENTS! We were having a LOT of trouble with visitations. We were allowed very little physical contact with KG, but the other foster children (2) in the home were encouraged to be all over us. We were subjected to list after list of ways we were not allowed to play with her & were especially not allowed to hold her. At one point when KG was learning to crawl, she crawled to me & the second she touched my leg, she was physically removed by the FP mom & placed on the other side of the room. We addressed these concerns to the DHS worker multiple times & finally after our lawyer stepped in on our behalf, we were granted visits outside of the home that were supervised by DHS at the public library without the FPs present. After several months of this, we were finally granted unsupervised visits & extended to 90 minutes. The caveat to this was that sole control of visits at that point were placed in the charge of the FPs. They are now allowed to tell us during what hours we are allowed to visit (which are very strict), we are allowed absolutely no holiday time or birthdays, and we are not allowed to provide any transportation for KG. They also do not allow visits to take place anywhere other than the public library. We are fighting a good-ole-boy system in this county to which we have been considered outsiders. They had a plan in place for KG that did not include us. DHS has since placed their recommendation for placement in favor of the FPs. The judge has sided with DHS & has accused of us of treating KG like property instead of considering what's in her best interest. This is baffling to us on how we could be accused of such a thing. We have never been concerned with anything BUT her best interest. This is why we got DHS involved in the first place. We found out that KG was assigned a CASA worker 10 months after the case started & 1 month after paternity was established & the "adoption" occured. This CASA worker never attempted to contact ANY of the paternal relatives. I got in contact with her boss trying to get a CASA worker assigned. We had been asking about this & denied by our case worker multiple times. We didn't find out about the CASA worker until February 2015 when we were coming up for TPR recommendation hearing. We wrote her a very long & detailed history of what had occurred since the inception of the case. She claims she was given wrong contact information for all 3 of us as to why she did not get in touch with us sooner. She had a meeting with us once for 10 minutes during a visitation with KG. She had absolutely no other interaction with us at all. She somehow managed to come back with a recommendation for permanent placement with the FP's until TPR is completed. We requested a meeting with the Foster Care Review Board, but unfortunately, it too is made up of members of the community. They claim they were not notified we were even parties to the case. They have had 2 previous meetings to which we were not invited to. They rubber stamped the judge & CASA workers recommendation against us as well. They all sided against us due to the length of time KG has been in the FP home. The time she spent in that home was due to systematic delays & road blocks set up by both the FPs & DHS. So far, it has been successful. So this is where we stand at this time. We intend to continue this fight. We will be filing for adoption against the foster parents when TPR is complete in August. Our lawyer is unfortunately running out of steam however as we are expecting to loose the adoption. We intend to appeal the FP's adoption, since they will likely win, but our lawyer is having trouble finding any case law to support an appeal as this is unprecedented. So my question to ANYONE who is willing & knowledgable to help, 1.) Do you know of any case law to support our case or a place where I can research it myself? 2.)Any additional ideas as to what else we might do that we have not thought of? I thank you for any and all information that anyone may have. We are desperate not to loose her. She means everything to us & what they have done is just flat out & completely wrong. Please help if you can. Thank you.