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I posted earlier about issues dealing with state during the adoption, incredibly we heard the very next day from the state and signed our paperwork, now we are just waiting on the report to move up the ranks and set up our final hearing date! I told both sets of parents and my MIL immediately said she wanted to be at the final hearing. I was taken aback by this as I was really just expecting, maybe wanting? our immediate family there (our 2 bios, our foster son, and us) and then do a big celebration after. But I could understand how others like her who have been through this journey with us and incredibly supportive during that time would want to be a part of it too. What did the final hearing look like for you and any insight that would help?
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We were only given our finalization date a day prior, so I really didn't have time to invite people, and it was just us, the judge, and my lawyer. I was a little disappointed at the time, but now I'm really glad. It feels like our special thing that we don't and didn't have to share. We had a celebration couple of weeks later at our synagogue, for my son's conversion. The anniversary is still special. I pick my son up early, and we go out to dinner or something. It's low key, nothing like a birthday, but it's our own special family day.I think you should do whatever works best for you. Yes, your families have been a part of this journey, but not in the same way that your immediate family has. Would you have felt obligated to have your mother in law in the delivery room if you were giving birth? You are no more obligated to have them in court. If you want to, great. If not, it is totally reasonable to tell them that court will be just the immediate family, and the celebration will be after. Court isn't really as big a deal as it seems like it will be anyway. The judge asked me a few questions, signed a form, banged his gavel , and had the court officer take our picture with him. The whole thing lasted maybe 15 minutes, 1/2 of which was the pictures. Ours was also a really tiny room, with only about 5 or 6 chairs, so too many people would have been uncomfortable anyway.
Last update on December 11, 7:44 pm by ruth74.
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Ruth, did you have the conversion & celebration 2 weeks later on purpose or coincidence? Here there's a certain amount of time before the ink is considered dry on the adoption. I think it's for internal review.
Aw, congrats on finalization! My AS was 5 at finalization. We did the whole court shebang for him, mainly because he was old enough to appreciate all those people congratulating and being there for him. He loved all the attention. None of my family could be there, but I would have been happy to add them if they had. I understand the gravity of adoption. But it's also ok to be happy. So few parents actually take up the courthouse finalization that the whole county dept went out for Nugget. His CW and AW were there, along with our LW. They got him a cake and presents. He was beaming the whole time. Enjoy your day! And again congratulations!
