We are in the very beginning stages of getting an adoption started. Recently, I did a lot of reading about the home study. I thought to myself, we got this until I came across the requirement to talk to any children living in or outside the house. My husband has two adult children (the girls are 21 and 22) the older daughter is married with 2 kids of her own. The issue I have is I have had a pretty good relationship with both of them over all. We have had both of them living with us for about a year at different times in the last 2 years. Back story- they both have different moms and I have tried to keep a great relationship with both of them. It hasn't always been easy. My husband didn't have access to his oldest while she grew up and the youngest he had until she was 5 or 6 when her mother picked up and moved to another state and married someone else. I have always encouraged my husband and the girls to spend time together and build their relationship and it has been a struggle. Mostly because the girls mothers constantly try to undo any building they do. I thought maybe he was the issue but after 6 years together ( I have known him since we were 12) and married 3 years I realized what the real issues are. My real problem and question is I am afraid of the home study and sharing our desire to have a child. I have no children and we have gone through fertility treatment over the last 2 years while never sharing that info with the girls because they haven't learned how to keep anything to themselves. I didn't want to hide that from them because I love them but I don't want my personal business spread all over the place by the people they would tell. I had the oldest living in our home while she was pregnant with her last child. It was so very hard to do treatment month after month and watch another person be pregnant everyday. She was pregnant when she came to live here and I love her so sucked it up and generally felt happy for her. But it still was hard. We definitely want to let the girls know if an adoption situation comes for us but in the early stages of home study I just don't want to share that with them until we are sure its even happening. I am looking for some advise on how to handle this with the social worker, since they will want to talk to both of the girls. I feel honestly feel defeated, I thought that adoption would allow me to have our dream but now I am afraid of our personal business out on the street and if we fail at adopting they will all know our business. Sorry for the rambling and thanks for listening.
Last update on January 5, 1:45 pm by Mrs Ve.