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Hello. My husband and I really want his parents to adopt our two daughters. But we want to make it so that if anything happens to them, then they can appoint their uncle who is turning 31 in March as the back up Foster parent, so that the girls will not be put with strangers. Can that be arranged during the adoption process? And does the adoption agency have to honor those wishes once the grandparents pass if the girls are still underage?
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Once your child's grandparents have a finalized adoption decree in hand, it will be as if they had given birth to your child. They become the only people who can make decisions for your child, while he/she is a minor, as long as they are competent to do so. The adoption agency will have no role unless the grandparents turn to someone there for counseling or whatever. And you will have no legal parental authority, though you can be actively involved in your child's life, if the grandparents want you to be involved. The grandparents, alone, can make a guardianship plan for the child, although you can certainly have input. If the grandparents make a guardianship plan naming a particular relative, during the adoption process, they can change it at any time after the adoption is final, as long as they are competent to do so. As an example, if the person named in the guardianship agreement is found to be using drugs, or is arrested for a crime, the grandparents can change the guardianship agreement, naming someone else to care for your child, in the same way that they can change their will.If you make a guardianship plan before the adoption is final, naming a particular person as guardian, it will no longer have any validity once your grandparents adopt the child. They will need to make their own guardianship plan. However, you are welcome to express your opinions on the subject at any time. Given that you trust the grandparents enough to place your child with them, I'm sure that they will give serious consideration to your wishes when they make the guardianship plan.It is wonderful that you are going about the process of making an adoption plan so thoughtfully. And it is wonderful that the grandparents are working with you to ensure that everything is done in the best interests of the child.Sharon