I agree -- Some level of openness is best

Originally Posted By NicksterMommyI agree that some level of openness is best for all involved. In addition to the reasons you mentioned, it helps the Aparents explain the reasons for the adoption. If children don't have the facts, they will fill in the holes with all sorts of stories -- either unrealistic fantasies or horror stories about not being "wanted." I also feel better having thorough medical records of my son's biological family. I think it is real important that the Aparents have lots of respect for the Bmom and speak favorably about her to the child. After all, she is the one who gave the child life. I respect my son's Bmom very much, and he will only hear positive things about her from me.For any hopeful Aparents out there, it is a real good idea to meet the Bmom before the baby is born. My husband and I were uneasy about the idea of a semi-open adoption. All of our reservations left as soon as we met her. We walked away from the meeting with enormous respect for her, and we saw firsthand how difficult it was going to be for her to give us her baby. We KNOW that it was hard for her but a decision that she felt was best for the baby. I wrote my son a letter about that meeting, which is in our safe deposit box. When he asks what she is like and why she "gave him up," I will give him that letter. I want him to know what a LOVING decision she made -- to carry a hole in her heart forever so he could grow up with the kind of life she wanted for him.