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How do you and your spouse find time for one another? My husband and I have the hardest time with this. He is in school and I work full time. By the time we "come back together" it seems like the day is over. What advice do you have to make your marriage a priority?
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Hi Mandi! I think a lot of it is really deciding what's most important to you and putting that first . . . Have you ever seen the rocks/pebbles/sand demonstration? (Here's a quick one on YouTube -)It's essential to identify the things you really can't live without - like a happy marriage - and make sure they come first. That may mean setting a weekly date night that you stick with no matter what. If finances are a concern, find another couple with young kids you can trade babysitting with each week - then identify fun things you can do together for little or no money - go for a walk, do some window shopping, play card games, write each other cheesy love poems, watch a movie on Netflix, pack a picnic and eat it in the park, volunteer at the local animal shelter . . . you get the idea.
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Hi Mandi - great question! It's exhausting, isn't it?! My husband and I decided early on that although we need time alone together (that would usually be once the kids are asleep and even if we're exhausted, at least we could talk about the day) the time with our children is going to be a few short years. We are probably not the norm out there, but we only left our children for more than an evening only a handful of times over our parenting years. We took trips as a family rather than as a couple. In retrospect (we're now empty nesters) that worked for us. I'm glad we did it. We were somehow able to keep our relationship strong enough to still want to be together when there were no kids left at home - but the memories we have as a family! Priceless. Yes - couple time is extremely important. But if you work to keep your marriage strong, you'll have lots and lots of that in just a few years. Time raising kids - that is short.
I often find that relationships I don't foster fall apart. With my marriage I don't want it to fall apart so I actively find ways to connect. Sometimes it's silly dates but most often it's in the little things, like a simple text showing gratitude for something he has done for me. I've also learned to unplug in the evenings and turn off social media and other distractions and allow myself to focus on what is truly important, my family, my children, and my spouse.