Same Rules in Independent Adoptions?

Hi Denalee! The main answer to each of these questions is really, "It depends!" Let's break it down into the three specific things you were wondering about in regards to independent adoptions. Openness - Hopefully, adoptive parents and birth parents are discussing their expectations for openness! Some may choose to formalize these plans in a written document; others don't feel that it's necessary. It really depends on the personalities of the individuals involved, the relationship that has formed already, and the needs and desires expressed during the time before placement. Cost - Independent adoptions can be more or less expensive than an agency adoption, depending on a variety of factors, including travel costs (if the child is adopted from out of state, the adoptive parents will need to travel to the state to pick up the child and may need to stay there for several weeks while they wait for ICPC), attorney fees, and birth mother expenses. (see below!)Medical/Birth Mother Expenses- Often adoptive parents will cover pregnancy- and birth-related expenses for the expectant mother, but this is not always a requirement or even an expectation. Sometimes expectant mothers are able to cover their own expenses and wish to do so. This is true of both agency and independent adoptions. I hope this has helped!

Independent or private adoption isn't really that independent.You will still need a homestudy done by a provider licensed to do them in your state. No judge is going to approve an adoption unless it is well documented, by a licensed professional, usually a social worker, that the child will be coming into a safe home situation. And you will need an attorney to help, at minimum, with the finalization in court. Adoption is a complex legal procedure, with a lot of paperwork, and you will want to be sure that your adoption can't be challenged These services will have costs, but they will generally be much less than if you use an agency or attorney to help you find a pregnant woman considering placement of her child with you.Frankly, many independently adopting families even spend money for other services provided by the attorney or social worker. Many use the attorney to help "vet" the expectant mother, so that they are not taken in by scammers. Many use the attorney to tell them what legitimate adoption expenses can be paid on behalf of the expectant mother. And many use the attorney to tell them what procedures they need to use if the expectant mother does not know how who the expectant father is or how to reach him -- for example, if she has been raped or if she had a one night stand. Nowadays, at finalization, most judges will want to know what allowable expenses were paid on behalf of the birthmother, and will want to be sure that the birthfather has either signed away his parental rights or has been notified, to the extent possible, of his right to contest the birthmother's adoption plan.While independent adoption can be much cheaper than agency assisted adoption, if the first expectant mother who preliminarily agrees to place her child with you is being honest with you and remains committed to placing her child after he/she is born. Unfortunately, however, prospective adoptive parents are much more likely to be scammed if they adopt independently than if they go through an agency or attorney, and they are more likely to find a pregnant woman who decides not to place her child once she delivers, than if they go through an agency or attorney. Agencies and attorneys generally have a lot more experience than a first-time prospective adoptive parent in identifying scammers and women who are likely to back out of their adoption plans once their child is born. And if you get scammed after you paid some money on behalf of the woman, or if she decides to parent after the child is born, that is money down the drain. If you have a few scams or fall-throughs, before finding the right situation, you can run up some pretty large bills. Now I'm not saying that agencies and attorneys never get scammed or have fall-throughs; they do, but if they are very experienced, they are likely to be much better than you are at identifying "red flags".If you decide to go the independent route, and find a pregnant woman on your own, you should do a lot of talking with her. First off, that may allow you to pick up on clues to the fact that she may be a scammer or may not be totally committed to placing her child. Second, it will allow the pregnant woman and you to talk about openness, and what both of your expectations are. Third, you should let her see either your homestudy report or a summary that covers all the important issues in it, and then let the woman ask you about those topics --for example, whether you plan to raise a child with a certain religion, whether you plan to homeschool or use a regular school, whether you have close family ties and a great social support network, what activities you enjoy, what your house is like, and so on. It's better to see any possible deal breakers right up front, than to be close to the time of delivery when the woman asks something like, "You are going to baptize the baby, right?" and you have to tell her that you are a Jewish family, and Jewish people don't baptize.Once the pregnant woman delivers, the laws of your state will give her a certain amount of time in which she decides whether to place her baby with you, whether to place her baby with someone else, or whether she intends to parent. In some cases, if you remain the chosen adoptive family and bring the baby home, you may be required to have post-placement visits before the adoption is finalized.I hope this helps.Sharon