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It wasn't until we were in the thick of adopting domestically that I realized how much I had to learn regarding positive adoption language. I had a bunch of words with good intent, but the impact of them were hurtful. In my experience, Impact > Intent. So I set out to educating myself and asking questions about positive adoption language! Are there any terms/words/phrases that hurt you that you would love to see changed and transformed into more appropriate language? Here is a great resource for the common words that are misused: Would love to hear from adoptees, birth families, adoptive parents...what kinds of stigmas and words would you like to see changed for the bettering of the adoption community?
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Hi Natalie...When I was first introduced into the Adoption world I was amazed and how the use of words hurt. The phrase that seems to stick out the most to me is when someone says "...put up for adoption". I know their intentions are good, however this is a child that is being talked about, not object. No one needs to feel like they were tossed aside with less value. The truth behind it an adoption is that a Birth mom and Dad, has done the most difficult thing possible. To break their own heart to give their child more. They are choosing to place their child because of the love they have for them. Children need to be loved regardless of circumstances and it's important to remember that even simple words can have bigger value to those who understand a little bit more about the adoption process.I'd be curious to know what other words, phrases etc others have had struggles with!
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Yes! I totally am with you there. The term "put up for adoption" still catches me off guard, as I assumed we had moved on from it in our society. I am still working towards educating people with grace about the terms we use carelessly.Thank you for sharing, Rebecca.One of the terms that gets to me is, "own/real." I have two sons, one came to us via birth and the other adoption. WAY TOO OFTEN, our biological son is referred to (in front of our son of adoption) as our "own/real." I always correct them in the moment, so my son who was adopted knows he is just as much our own and just as real as his brother.