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SO is 30 and I'm 21. We have one son together (18 months) and he has a 5 yr old, I have a 3yr old. We want to foster/adopt but we are not legally married yet and I just got my divorce last year ( separated a LONG time ago) but he was AWOL from military, on drugs and abusive so I left and finally got the divorce. I'm scared because my SO and I don't have a marriage license we will not be approved along with my age and divorce. we passed background checks, sent in all paperwork and just have to do home study and car/ first aid and health/fire inspection. We have a home, SO makes 50K a year and I stay at home with the two youngest boys that live with us. Will we be qualified?
Also after the abuse from my ex husband I had to see a counselor but no longer go nor need medication as I have never been happy ( was depressed and scared because his abuse) I'm ok now 100%. As I've said I have never been so happy with my life, I just want this so much and we are really stressing trying to make everything perfect.
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You definitely don't have to be perfect. No one is. While I can't say for sure whether you will be approved or not, I can tell you that your past doesn't have to define your future. I know plenty of adoptive moms who have dealt with trauma, divorce, and depression. That doesn't automatically exclude you from fostering or adopting. Depending on your state and who you go through, your age and the fact that you aren't married yet may or may not mean you can't adopt right now. But that doesn't mean you couldn't ever, you may just have to wait a few years. Again, I can't tell you anything for sure. A steady income and you being a stay at home parent are positive qualities that will be beneficial for you as you look into adoption. You do not have to be perfect, you just have to be doing the best you can. Good luck, and keep us posted!
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I would look into your state's requirement for adoption, but as long as you are able to show that you can financially provide for a child and provide a safe environment for them, you should be able to get approved. When I had my home study done, they were more concerned with the possible safety hazards, such as stairs, firearms, electrical outlets and such. I was really worried that since I came from a home with domestic violence that they wouldn't approve me, but they said it's not about what has happened to me in my life, it is how I have responded to it. I am currently still on antidepressants as well as in counseling and it didn't have a negative impact at all because they viewed it as me caring for myself. We were approved and just adopted a little boy! I wish you the best of luck!