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I highly dislike the terms 'give up' or 'adopted out' when talking about a birth mother who places her child with an adoptive family. In some contexts the word 'placed' makes sense. "I placed my child with her adoptive family". However, the wording "I placed my child for adoption" which is the quickest and most easily understood phrase I like to use when explaining my adoption to others sounds kind of awkward. Is there a better way to say it?
I highly dislike the terms 'give up' or 'adopted out' when talking about a birth mother who places her child with an adoptive family. In some contexts the word 'placed' makes sense. "I placed my child with her adoptive family". However, the wording "I placed my child for adoption" which is the quickest and most easily understood phrase I like to use when explaining my adoption to others sounds kind of awkward. Is there a better way to say it?
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I highly dislike the terms 'give up' or 'adopted out' when talking about a birth mother who places her child with an adoptive family. In some contexts the word 'placed' makes sense. "I placed my child with her adoptive family". However, the wording "I placed my child for adoption" which is the quickest and most easily understood phrase I like to use when explaining my adoption to others sounds kind of awkward. Is there a better way to say it?
Yes I think there is a short version:
“ I chose to share my child (son/daughter) with a loving couple through adoption.”
And a longer version:
“ I chose to share my child (son/daughter with a loving couple, who were in a position to provide him/her in a way I was not able to at that time, through adoption.”
I think this recognizes the loving decision made. It also does not imply any kind of not wanting the child or “giving up” for adoption that implies that you should somehow put it behind you and move on and forget, type of mentality, and affirms that your decision as a birth mother is an active act of mothering, you retain your motherhood whether the child is with you or not, you are still a mother. Especially in an open adoption, the adoptive parents can say, “Your mother chose to share you with us because we were in a position to provide for you when she couldn’t do so, and she wanted to give you the best life she possibly could”
Last update on October 13, 1:05 pm by Yve Brown.