Not about them

August 31, 2017

I'm a huge advocate for birth parents and open adoption. I spend a lot of time reading and writing about adoption, as well as working directly with expectant moms and hopeful adoptive parents. Because it is such a big part of my life, I often post about it on social media as well.

Sometimes I worry that my birth daughter's adoptive family get a little overwhelmed by that. They have never said anything, but I sense that they're concerned that I'm a little bit too focused on adoption. This makes sense. If I were constantly thinking and talking about them, it would be a little weird.

However, it's not really about them. Sure I love my relationship with them and it is what got me started, but their family is very separate from what I do now. Adoption is just something that now I have some expertise in, and the ability to help others. I am much more focused on that at this point than my own adoption. Being a birth mother is not my only identity, and I want them to understand that.

Usually, I am very good at communicating with them but for whatever reason this topic just feels awkward. What's a not-awkward way to say "Hey just FYI I'm not obsessed with your family, that's creepy. I just like adoption and helping other people"

Brandy

September 1, 2017

Well, for me (I've worked in the industry for 15 years), I just told them that it was a topic I was passionate about and I really enjoyed doing what I do. I told them that I'd often heard that if you truly find a job you love, you never work a day in your life.

I've felt that way about my work here at Adoption.com since I first started working with them in the early 00's. It is something I am truly passionate about and because that is the case, I enjoy my work and feel fulfilled in what I do.

I am a lot of things -- but being a birth mother and adoptee only enhances my passion, it doesn't define it.