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I try to help people who are searching as much as possible. I have been there, and I know what it's like. I am not an expert searcher. I simply connect people with resources I think best fit their situation. I refer people to search groups, DNA tests, registries, and the like. Recently I got a message from someone who was searching. It as clear that he didn't want to do any of the work himself. He made up excuses for not wanting to deal with registries or search groups. He basically wanted me to have the search angel who found my family contact him to find his. I found the whole kind of rude. I already knew she had two open cases on top of her regular job, so I politely told him that wasn't an option. Our conversation felt like it was left hanging open, and I am at a loss. What do you say to someone who wants you to do everything for them and not put any effort into their own search?
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Unless someone is offering to pay you, I don't feel like it's fair for them to expect you to do all the work. It's the same as a lot of other things, like asking a photographer friend to shoot your wedding for free. It's just rude. I think if you've done all you can to give him the tools and information on where he can search, you've done your part. If he really wants to, he'll do the work on his own.
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